CrAzy In Love
by Ist Es Immer
Summary: When the Survey Corp was given custody of Eren Jaeger, one of the conditions to better control his loyalty was a fake relationship. Erwin entrusts Captain Levi for this job. Levi strikes a deal he's made before: casual sex. Eren agrees, and it spirals out of control as emotions are caught in the mix. Eventual ErenxLevi, some ErwinxLevi.
1. Rotten To The Core

Immer: I don't seem to have any luck with SnK (AoT), so I don't understand why I keep trying. But here's attempt number 3.

Disclaimer: Do I look like the creator of Shingeki No Kyojin to you? No? Okay, enough said.

Chapter title based off of _Black Black Heart_ by David Usher. Story title is of course _Crazy In Love_ by Sofia Karlberg. Don't judge me using a song for a movie and book franchise I despise.

Chapter One Rotten To The Core

WIRSINDDERJAGER

"You want me to do what?" Captain Levi was ever rarely caught off guard. He stared up at his commanding officer with a stoic expression, but his eyes expressed the shock that he felt.

"You have a specialty to make people feel special. I know this is unethical, but I can't think of anyone else for this job." Erwin said with a straight face.

"Stop sugar coating. Just tell me what the pigs want." In other words, shut up and get straight to the point.

"The higher ups want to be assured we can control the titan, Eren Jaeger. Someone came up with an idea to stage a fake relationship and now that's what they want from us."

"So you're saying they don't trust my abilities as Humanity's Strongest?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Of course they do. But it's what they want. And unfortunately, my hands are tied on this one. It was one of the conditions they briefed me on in return to having custody over him." Erwin shrugged as he crossed his arms.

"And you want me to manipulate some brat's heart like that?" Levi was having a hard time wrapping his mind around this.

 _I beat the shit out of him in front of the entire court to sway them in our favor. That's not something to start a relationship over_ _, even if he understood it was all an act._

However, it wouldn't be just as weird as whatever was between him and Erwin. Shortly after Levi had been taken into the Survey Corp, things were complicated. Levi hated him, wanted to kill him even. After losing his friends, Levi gave up and surrendered all faith over to the blonde. A short time later, Erwin was named commander when Shardis stepped down.

After their first expedition under Erwin's command was the first time the blonde tested the trust. Levi had been shaken at first, baffled as to why he was the one being subjected to being fucked by Erwin. But once assured he had to get it out of his system to better deal with the loss, Levi allowed it to continue.

It became a ritual between them. It wasn't anything romantic, just a ritual based on unbreakable trust. They were both responsible adults, and having needs and desires were normal. Neither sought anything more than that. Somehow this solidified the trust shared between them, to the point they understood each other on much deeper levels than anyone else allowed.

 _But this is beyond fucked up._

Having casual sex with Erwin? Great. He let the other initiate everything. This all started because of Erwin, so it made sense he called all the shots whether or not they had sex. Levi wouldn't give a damned whether or not they did it now or wait until after the next expedition outside of the wall.

But Eren? A brat, who was barely half of his own age? He knew nothing of the ways of pleasure, or not allow the heart to fall. Worst of all Levi would have to manipulate him into a fake relationship for the whim of the higher ups. Eren might be considered a monster, but even that would be too cruel.

"Just for a while. It doesn't have to be long term. Just long enough until we prove it is best to make full use of him to take back Wall Maria." Erwin spoke so casually, that this almost bothered the captain.

Almost.

"How exactly am I going to initiate such a thing? He's a brat." Levi wasn't agreeing, but he wasn't refusing, either.

"What are your types? If he fits the requirements, then you shouldn't have a problem."

"Look at in a mirror, Eyebrows."

"So people who are taller than you by a considerable height? Well, he is tall. And he probably has more growth to go, yet." Erwin was having way too much fun with this.

 _Damn. He's already figured one of my interests._

"And eyes. I have to be drawn to the eyes." Levi confessed, grimacing at himself for the admission.

"Well, he does have the eyes of a beast, doesn't he? Wild and free, despite being caged. What else? Plus, if I remember correctly after I started fucking you, you've opened up partnerships to a few others for casual sex. I've known about those for a while, now."

 _Erwin you bastard._

"You just want to turn me into the Survey Corp's slut, don't you?" Levi deadpanned, earning a chuckle.

"If you refuse, I could always ask Hange."

Levi's eyebrow twitched as he resisted the urge to shudder at the mention of their name. Out of everyone, that was Erwin's second choice? That was the worst idea ever, especially coming from the man who had a brilliant mind for strategies.

"...I'll trust you. Now how am I supposed to initiate such a thing with the brat?" Levi sighed, while a part of him thought this was a horrible idea to begin with, he figured Erwin saw something in him that he didn't.

"That is for you to figure out on your own. I expect to see results soon. Oh, and Levi?" Erwin had made to leave but paused to look back with a wicked glint in his eye. "The rituals won't stop because of this. And he can't know of it."

 _Of fucking course. Go figure._

"Why would I jeapordize you like that?"

"Good. Have a good night, captain."

When the door closed Levi began to punch his pillow.

WIRSINDDERJAGER

 _What did I get myself into?_

Levi questioned his sanity as they spent two days cleaning the castle that was to be served as their new headquarters. On the second day, the captain intently watched Eren work. The brat was nervous whenever he was around. And while it pleased a sick part of him, Levi was supposed to be figuring out how to start a so called fake relationship.

 _He's clumsy and loud. He might have endless energy and eagerness to please, but he doesn't know self control._

However, he got to observe the kid without hardly anyone around to judge him. With just them and his squad here, Levi was free to stare in between cleaning sessions. All this did was make Eren nervous, and he couldn't blame him. But there was another idea, one where he would have a better grasp of understanding him.

"Oi. Tomorrow, we start training. I want to see for myself how you are."

"O-okay!" Eren nodded, flashing a grin at the thought of training. He was excited to train with the Scouts, at least.

"I want you at your best tomorrow morning. No more of this kicked puppy, nonsense. Got it?"

"Y-Yes, sir!"

"Cut the sir. Just call me captain."

"Yes, sir - I mean captain!"

"We set to the training grounds at dawn." And with that Levi turned and continued on his conquest over the disgusting cobwebs and thick layers of dust.

The next morning as the sun rose, Levi was waiting by the designated area they had chosen for training. There weren't any titan dummies yet, but that wasn't his focus for this training. He was testing Eren's stamina, speed, endurance, and most critical his ability to handle pressure.

He was the first to arrive, and he waited for everyone. He didn't have to wait long, much to his relief. His squad knew never to keep him waiting for long, and Eren was bright and eager at this hour. The excitement must have bubbled up from the previous day, as he was grinning and didn't stammer when he greeted him.

"Morning, captain. So what's the training session going to be about, today?" Eren beamed at him.

 _He must have taken the kicked puppy thing to heart. And I was only joking._

"First, we'll start with warm up drills. I want to see you launch into the air in different scenarios. Then from there as a group we test your speed, stamina, and endurance." Levi intentionally left out the last detail, this was something he always did to new members of his squad.

Petra sent him a worrying look. She knew better than to voice her concerns, but her eyes said it all. Petra was asking him to take it easy on the brat. Levi decided that it all depended on Eren's performances. As well as his attitude. Weak attitudes would have to be stomped down and rebuild. But he guessed he wouldn't have to worry about that part with Eren.

For the next half hour, Eren did rather well. He followed orders best he could, and he was open minded to criticism and other suggestions to perfect a maneuver. After the drills he still had endless amount of energy, and Levi wondered if it had something to do about him being a titan.

 _It would be something to discuss with Hange, later._

The thought of discussing about titans with Hange made him cringe. But it was inevitable, since they had to learn as much as possible about Eren. Anything and everything they learn was significant. Since little was known about titans, any information was vital at this point. Especially if Erwin's assumption about the Amored and Colossal Titans were correct.

When it was time for the actual test, Eren exceeded expectations. Despite his lack of experience compared to the squad, he managed to keep up to their top speed. What he lacked in stamina, he made up for with endurance. Levi knew how to work on his stamina, all he had to do was one on one sessions and drill into his head to save his strength instead of burning it all in one go.

 _Anything can happen outside the wall. I have seen too many die because they don't know how to save their strength when they needed it._

And so the first lesson in stamina became the focus. This was the angle he needed to see how Eren did under immense pressure. He glanced back to see the brat was exhausted. Sweat gathered on his forehead and chest, his movements were a little sluggish compared to before. But despite the strain there was determination in those eyes.

 _E_ _yes that I can drown in._

Levi could admit to himself the first attribute that caught his attention about Eren were his eyes. Back in the dungeon where the Military Police kept him, his eyes were wild like a monster's. But the driving need to eliminate all titans drew him in. And under better lighting later, Levi rather liked the color of them, too.

 _Makes it a little easier, I guess._

But what bothered him was how _honest_ Eren was with him. And Levi was expected to face him everyday with that unshakable honesty and lie to his face? The captain felt a little fucked up about this, he wasn't even sure if he could pull it off.

 _But I agreed to this. So it has to be done_.

"Eren, if you feel like you need to, then say you've had enough. This is a test on you, therefore you call the shots if you can't continue." Levi stated, eyes watching for his reaction.

He was starting to worry about Eren's determination driving him into exhaustion. His breathing was erratic, and yet he didn't slow down. Levi was now considering he would have to work on more than just the kid's stamina. And the flash in Eren's eyes didn't calm his concerns.

 _Shit. His spirit is so intent he is willing to work himself to death._

In his distraction Levi had missed a trunk of a tree. The other grappling hook was tugged as he passed it and his weight and speed broke the branch before he had time to aim again. Levi grit his teeth in annoyance when he pulled the triggers, but they were jammed. He instinctively turned so his back faced the ground as he fell and braced himself for impact.

"Captain!" His squad exclaimed in unison, scrambling to turn around for his aid. But they wouldn't be able to make it, they were already too far away.

Then someone caught him. Arms wrapped protectively around him, forcing his face to be buried into a sweaty shoulder. The pair clung onto each other as they collided to the ground and rolled several feet. When they stopped Levi was on top, and he pushed himself up to see the face, taken aback.

"You didn't have to do that, Eren. I have fallen enough times in my life. I would have been fine. Bruised and possible broken ribs, but fine." Levi stated as the others landed on the ground.

"Captain, Eren! You guys all right? Nothing broken?" Petra was in mother hen mode.

"I think we're fine." Levi replied, only to twitch in annoyance.

 _Out of all times, he gets a hard on now?_

"Captain, I did that because I can't help it. When I see someone in trouble, I rush in without thinking. And...I'm sorry." Eren stammered, face flushing bright red in embarrassment.

 _What a gentleman._ _He has the sense to apologize for his dick, at least._ _Oh,_ _shit._

Levi could feel his own responding to the hard length underneath him. The captain hissed as he forced back his urge to rub and rut against the titan shifter. His own squad were surrounding them, now wasn't the time nor place.

"You sure nothing is wrong? You're not exactly moving." Eld voiced his concern.

"I'm fine, he's fine. Give us a minute." Levi snarled, his mind racing.

 _Why is being this close doing things to me? I hate sweat, but the smell and feel of him is turning me on._

Levi never felt this with Erwin. After nearly five years, the captain only craved him out of familiarity. And plus Erwin was the only person he trusted so deeply to see him in compromising positions fully nude. The commander knew how to turn him on like second nature. Eren isn't even trying and Levi is turned on by simple _sweat_ , something he _loathed_.

"Hey! Eren is getting a hard on! Eren is - " Oluo bit his tongue, saving both the titan shifter and Levi more embarrassment. Eren buried his face into the captain's shoulder, and Levi felt compelled to protect him.

"Need a moment, captain?" Eld remained professional.

 _Thank heavens. I owe him a beer next chance I get._

"Yes. In fact, we're done for today. Head back and start your chores. And don't speak a word of this to anyone, understand?" He glared at them, feeling proud at their flinches, bodies tensing up.

"You got it, captain!" Petra assured, in between excitement and worry.

"What do we tell Hange?" Eld knew how to stay one step ahead, which the captain was grateful for, as he hadn't thought of the titan fanatic.

"I'm doing a one on one training session." Levi ignored the snorting from Oluo and Gunther.

"All right. Don't break the lad, captain." Eld chuckled at his own joke. To him the glare he received was so worth it.

When they took to the air and left, Levi then turned his focus on Eren. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off when suddenly hands gripped his hips tightly, tight enough to bruise. But in the heat of the moment Levi didn't care as Eren rutted against him fervently.

"Eren...shit...calm down!" Levi growled, but didn't have the strength to take control of the situation.

"I'm sorry, captain. I can't help it. You feel so good. I want...I want..." Eren gasped out, arching his back like a taut bow.

Levi was equally as lost in the throes of passion. For years all his body knew was Erwin. Eren was someone new, something to explore and learn new territory and he found it exciting. He knew this was a contradiction from his hesitation to take up the job placed upon his shoulders earlier, but now he found himself mewling and squirming against Eren with desperate need.

"Eren..." Levi gasped, it was the only warning he gave before his body tensed and he cried out in his release.

Eren watched in delight, drinking in the sight of the usually stoic man so open in his pleasure. He wrapped his arms around the petite form as Levi collapsed, body shaking from the intensity of his release. His breathing was erratic, and it took him a moment to regain his breath.

"You're still hard." Levi could still feel him throbbing against his hip.

"I'll be okay. I'm just glad you found your release, captain." Eren was happy to make others feel good, even if he sacrificed his own.

 _I'm not that cynical._

Levi experimentally felt the hardness through the pants. He groaned at the feel of it. It was a decent length, not as long as Erwin's but enough to fill him. And Eren was thicker, meaning he would stretch him in ways Erwin wouldn't be able to. The thought sent shivers down his spine, and Levi found himself eager for a taste.

"I don't leave my partners hanging. Get ready, you're in for a treat. I don't normally do this, but I crave it. If you protest, I'll bite it off." Levi sent a devilish glint at Eren.

Before the titan shifter could respond Levi scooted down. He pulled the apron up and with skillful hands undid the belt and pants. Due to the straps of the uniform and gear, he couldn't pull the pants down far. But he managed to pull them far enough to free the already glistening cock.

It was leaking precum, already close to release. Since he was so close Levi skipped the foreplay and dove right in. He relaxed his jaw and throat as he took as much as he could, tasting him. He heard Eren cry out his name, gasping and squirming. Levi gripped the base and began to move. Hands gripped his hair and he groaned at the pain. He had always been masochist anyway.

"Captain...captain! Ah! Levi! Oh God _Levi_ \- I'm gonna - I'm...!" Eren wailed as he came.

Levi stilled, at first disgusted. But damn it all the taste made it easier for him to swallow. And like Erwin, the brat had a few more loads in one release and Levi loved it. He greedily sucked as Eren weakly thrusted into his mouth.

When he was finally spent and softening, Levi pulled away. Eren glanced down and felt his heart leap at the sight of the captain licking his lips, eyes still glazed over with lust. Eren knew that if he died at this moment, he would die very happy and lucky man.

"Eren. Don't tell anyone about this. I don't do relationships. However, I don't mind acts of pleasure. In fact, I crave it. So if you're willing, how about being my new partner?" Levi spoke gently. "I have rules you have to abide by, if you agree."

 _I found my angle, Erwin._

Levi watched Eren as he gathered his thoughts. He debated, which was a good thing in his book. It meant Eren was taking a step back to evaluate the situation. Already the training improved some progress in him. Levi pulled himself away to give Eren some space. He grimaced as he remembered that his pants were damp from his release.

 _Gross. A bath and change of clothes are in order when we get back._

Eren sat up, eyes following Levi's. Once again the captain found himself drowning in them. And with silent horror he realized why those eyes drew him in aside from the honest emotions shown through. They were so much like _hers_ , and he felt his heart weaken at remembering her.

"What are the rules?" Eren was hooked.

"You don't brag to anyone. Or tell. I call the shots when we do it. If you really need it though, you can convince me. But ultimately it's my decision. And you have to be comfortable with sharing me."

Eren's eyes flashed at that. His body tense. By his reaction Levi cursed himself, his guess about him was correct. Eren was too young to not let emotions get in the way of just casual sex. And to make it worse the captain very might be his first in any sexual deeds.

"I am not in a romantic relationship with anyone. But only a selective few are allowed to be my partners. You're the first in a while that I've made the offer. So consider yourself special." In truth, Eren was, and he didn't know how big of a step Levi was taking for him.

"I only make this offer to people who catch my eye and have my complete trust. I don't hand over my body on a whim. You could say I'm picky when I choose my partners, which I am. You meet all the requirements, and I enjoyed the spur of the moment acts of passion we just had."

"...How many partners do you have?" Eren bit his lip, feeling encouraged by his words to learn what exactly he was getting into.

"You think I'm a slut, don't you? I won't mention names, but currently one person. Another is on and off, so you can guess that one doesn't happen often enough to be considered a partner." He wasn't going to jeapordize anyone over a stupid sex scandal.

 _Especially Erwin. He would be stripped of his status and very likely discharged from the military. Humanity needs his brilliant mind._

"...Are there more rules?" Eren inquired, still hesitant. Levi was patient, he understood why. At least the brat was keeping an open mind about this, which showed his maturity level.

 _I'm guessing he's hesitant because he's possessive by nature. He knows it, and he knows it puts him at a disadvantage to anyone else I'm fucking in comparison._

"Don't ask me who my partners are or were. Don't ask who I've done it with. If I sense you're falling for me, I'll end the partnership without a second thought. I don't do relationships. Remember this is all to fulfill sexual needs on both ends. I make it fair for all of my partners, so don't ever start thinking I'm giving anyone special treatment. That just leads to unnecessary conflict and tension."

 _In our line of work there can't be personal feuds. Anger, sorrow and conflicts of the heart end in death._

After a long moment of considering, Eren nodded. Levi sighed in relief. He hadn't meant for it to come to this, but the captain knew he couldn't lie to those bright eyes. Plus this way he wouldn't completely break the brat's heart should things go sour. Eventually everything does when it comes down to Levi and the people around him.

"Good. Now pull your pants up. We need a bath."


	2. Lust At First Bite

Immer: I feel so dirty even writing this. But holy shit I love it.

Chapter title from lyrics of the song _I Want Your Bite_ by Chris Crocker.

Chapter Two Lust At First Bite

WIRSINDDERJAGER

For a long while they didn't touch each other. They were giving each other space after an awkward start of a partnership. Even though Levi had washed, when Erwin arrived with the new recruits and the rest of the Survey Corp, Mike could still smell the foreign scent on him. It all started on the first night the Survey Corp as a whole had dinner together.

Eren had decided to share a table with his friends, catching up with everyone. It didn't really matter, as Levi's squad enjoyed themselves at their own table. Mike had walked past when he caught whiff of something different about the short captain. He stopped abruptly, took a few steps back and leaned over for a better sniff.

Levi sipped his tea like normal. His squad stared, anxious. Across the way Eren stared too, his heart racing. Not far away Erwin caught interest, and inwardly smirked. He hadn't expected for the captain to act so fast, but he was pleased all the same. Soon everyone was staring at Mike, who was trying to identify the scent that mingled with the captain's.

"You smell different." The blonde stated.

"And? You saying I smell like shit? I just bathed this morning." Levi replied off handedly. He knew some sick part of Erwin was enjoying this, he knew him that well. One glance at Eren told him the brat was almost panicking.

"No. On the contrary, you smell unique. I just find it curious."

"Maybe it's from moving here." Levi diverted the focus, knowing full well Mike wouldn't buy it.

"Hm." The blonde squad captain hummed. After a moment he silently straightened up and continued to sit somewhere else.

Soon the whispers switched up to the regular volume as everyone continued on. When curfew came around, all who remained were Levi, his squad, Hange, and Eren. They went over the plan on the schedule. The following day would be training with Levi and his squad in the morning, then after a few hours of chores he would be handed over to Hange for experiments.

Levi had initially wanted to take initiative that night, but Eren made the mistake of asking Hange about titans. Without a second thought Levi downed the last of his tea and left. His squad silently followed his lead, knowing how Hange gets. They all went to bed and left Eren at the mercy of Hange.

Since Levi hardly got any sleep, he worked. His usual routine was spent oiling and polishing his gear, then work on any paperwork he had. Just as he sat down someone knocked on the door. Levi told them to come in as he placed his gear on his desk.

Mike entered, carefully closing the door behind him. Levi didn't bother glancing up as the blonde leaned over his shoulder. He had grown used to the strange behaviors of everyone around him long ago. But even so the feel of Mike's breath on his neck made him shiver.

"You found a new partner, didn't you?"

Mike knew of the casual sex partners. In fact the blonde was one of them. They had the deal on and off, depending if Mike really needed it and felt brave enough to touch another man's territory as he called it. Even though there were no feelings between Levi and Erwin, Mike had this idea since those two started first they belonged to each other.

 _Maybe having Erwin's scent all over me drove him away after a while._

"Mm."

"Does Erwin know?"

"He put me up to it by planting the idea into my head."

"Is it that Eren kid?"

Levi stopped what he was doing. It was answer enough and Mike made a bold move by turning the chair around so they were facing each other. Mike lifted him up and placed Levi to sit in the desk while he occupied the chair.

"I'm sure you don't need me lecturing you about how blind youth are about love." Mike said with all seriousness.

"No, you don't. Just trust in me."

"I trust you, but not his judgment. Does he know he's sharing?"

"I told him. I didn't mention names, just that he's not the only one who gets to fuck me." Levi shrugged, crossing his arms and legs. In Mike's eyes, the captain was in a way a diva like this.

"And he still agreed to share?" Mike was surprised at this.

"Yes. He agreed to the rules and thus far has abide by them."

"You must have left a lasting impression on him. I can smell your arousal, by the way. Were you hoping to get him tonight?" Mike was always so forward about these things.

"We haven't gotten that far yet. I was hoping tonight to initiate our first time, but then he asked Hange about titans. His mistake, his punishment." Levi tilted his head at Mike. He raised a pale hand to blonde hair before cupping a cheek, fingers feeling the faint beard.

"Feel brave enough for a one night stand tonight?"

"You don't like initiating with Erwin, do you? You rarely initiate with me unless you're desperate." Mike chuckled darkly.

"You're here. And I don't feel like walking to his office." Levi knew the other man's comfort levels. But it had been a while since Erwin touched him, and he wasn't planning on rescuing the brat from Hange.

 _Point is there's not enough of either of their scents to linger and disturb Mike for one pointless night._

"So I'm a convenience." Mike stated, not really hurt by it. "But how am I supposed to pass up an opportunity such as this? This would have to be our last rut together, however."

"Oh? A premonition of your own fate or something?" Levi sighed as rough hands began to work on his clothes.

"No. Sharing with Erwin is dangerous enough. But with Eren thrown into the mix? I'm staying out of the drama that will eventually ensue." Mike began to kiss the pale throat after unraveling the caravet.

"No marks..." Levi tilted his head to expose more of his neck.

"Heh, yeah I remember. Be sure to tell Eren that when you two do it. Erwin may not show it, but he's territorial over what is his. But, since it is our last time doing this, may I break that rule just once? It won't be the neck, I promise."

The way Mike was touching him made Levi's breath quicken. After the previous expedition, Erwin didn't seek him out as usual. So the captain was overly sensitive right now, even after rutting it out with Eren a few days prior. He hadn't been thoroughly fucked and his body craved it.

"Fine. But as long as it's not the neck." Levi gasped, displaying his trust to Mike.

 _I hate my own weakness._

WIRSINDDERJAGER

Levi didn't get the chance to heat things up with Eren until the night before the first expedition with a titan of their own. Erwin made the bold announcement that the aim was to reach as close to Shiganshina as possible. Levi made his way down to the dungeons, the anxiety of how many lights would extinguish tomorrow haunted him.

He found Eren awake and just as anxious as he was. The titan shifter perked up as quiet footsteps neared, echoing in the darkness. In the candlelight, he made out the captain and stood attention by his bed.

"Relax. I'm here to check on you. It seems you can't sleep, either." If he were honest, Levi was scared.

But he was running from his own mind. He was pretending he wasn't, covering it up with anxiety. And the best distraction happened to be a game only adults played. Levi studied him, taking in the glow of the candle in bright eyes.

 _He's barely an adult as is._

"Do you need a distraction, captain?" Eren caught on, in awe he was chosen for this.

"Feel up for it?" Levi was having flashbacks to their rut in the forest. Already the images made his blood quicken, his skin heat up and breath uneven.

 _Plus, I want to test a theory._

Having done it with Mike fresh in his mind made him realize something. While his nose was nothing in comparison to the other squad leader, his scent didn't drive him insane. Once or twice he caught himself smelling Erwin's jacket when he wasn't paying attention, just to see if his scent had him lose his mind. The commander's scent calmed him, soothing away his demons.

But Erwin's scent didn't drive him up the wall insane as Eren's did that one day. Every night for a while now, Levi tossed and turned and wondered what drove him over the edge with Eren. And it all came down to his scent. It was the first thing that really got him flustered, not the fact Eren hardened during a training session.

"Yes. Since that one time...I've been trying to be patient. So if I seem too eager tonight, forgive me." Eren wanted to say something else, but didn't.

 _He knows not to be sentimental. Good._

Levi unlocked the barred door and entered. Despite how much he loathed cages, he closed it behind him. Carefully he placed the candle on the desk before making his way to the bed. He gently pushed Eren to sit before straddling his lap.

"Tonight, the main focus is exploring each other." Even now, he couldn't escape his captain mode.

"O-okay." Eren stammered, tentative hands exploring. "What do you like, gentleness, rough or wild?"

At Levi's look Eren blushed.

"Er - I heard talk in the cadet bunks."

"I for the most part crave pain. But every now and then I need gentle touches. Tonight you can do as you wish. And Eren? I don't break easily, so don't hold back if you want to cause me pain. I can handle a lot of it."

"I don't like causing pain..." Eren gasped out as pale hands carressed his chest and stomach muscles.

"Try it sometime. Like I said, I crave pain in the act of sex. I relish in it. Pain makes me forget. It makes me feel alive and free." Levi sighed as a hand found one of his nipples.

He leaned forward to bury his face into a tanned neck. Levi breathed in, shuddering at the unique scent that was Eren. It is what he guessed, the titan shifter's scent drove him crazy in a way like never before. Something about it had his head swimming, similar to drowning in his eyes.

 _Is this lust that's happening?_

Eren found one of his spots and Levi arched his back with a gasp. Encouraged, Eren focused on tweaking and pinching a nipple and applying enough pressure for his nails to dig in. The captain squirmed, feeling his arousal course through his veins. He started moving his hips in a slow rhythm.

Levi could feel the throbbing length against his own hardening cock through their pants. Since Eren took initiative to roughen things up a bit, Levi started dragging his nails up his sides. He felt Eren shudder under his fingers. As Levi moaned, the titan shifter tensed, savoring the wonderful sound.

"Captain, permission to be the one on top?" Eren snarled, teeth nibbling at an ear.

"I already told you, Eren. Do as you wish."

In an instant Levi was pushed onto the bed. He didn't mind the rough treatment at all. Hands insistently worked on removing his clothes, which he took to help. Within short amount of time he was completely exposed. The way Eren looked at him hungrily was so intense Levi shut his eyes. It was all too much already.

Hands worshipped him as a mouth worked on spots they found. Levi opened his mouth to tell him not to mark, but then Eren bit down on the juncture of his neck and shoulder. The captain cried out, forgetting what had him worried a few seconds before. Levi was soon breathless, head swimming as if he was drowning.

He couldn't think of any other time his body was so sensitive and hot. It was as if Eren's inner flame engulfed his body, torturing him in pleasurable ways. He was somehow drowning while being burned. Levi was so crazy in lust that at one point he switched their positions in his impatience. In the back of his mind he recognized it was once again because of Eren's scent, now ten times more potent when aroused.

"What - captain?" Eren blinked, only to groan when Levi sank himself down on him, hissing from lack of being stretched, but he got off from the pain mixed pleasure.

"I told you, I don't mind pain. Fuck, you feel good." Levi breathed, sighing at how full he felt.

"Captain! Ah...so tight..." Eren gripped his hips to hold him still a little longer so he wouldn't come too soon.

Levi knew that he would have bruises along his hips by the end of this. He could feel the sting of the bite from earlier, and for the first time he didn't give a damn. Nails digging into him made him hiss. Levi wanted to move, but Eren wasn't ready. Instead he moved his hips in small circles to help ease his muscles.

"Eren...let me move." Levi gasped out, growing more impatient.

"You're still so tight. I don't want to hurt you, captain." Eren groaned, his grip tightening even more.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I can handle pain." Levi ground his hips down, earning a broken moan from the other. "I relish in pain. I want pain."

To prove his point he pulled Eren's hands away. Their hands interlocked, and Levi used them as leverage while his legs pushed himself up before slamming back down. Between them Eren was more vocal, but Levi wasn't silent either. He normally wasn't vocal, but he was so turned on that his years of self control was slipping.

After the first initial thrust, Levi lost himself. He had planned to be slow and teasing, but _fuck that_ , it felt so good. His back arched, and he threw his head back, soft moans reaching a higher pitch with each thrust. Eren watched, soaking in the sight. It was such a contrast between the stoic captain and a man throwing caution to the wind in the heated passion.

Levi felt the heat coil in his abdomen, he usually lasted longer than this. But something about Eren had him reeling. Once again he was closer to release much faster than normal. Levi willed himself to hang on. He didn't want this end. But a hand embraced his length and with a few hard strokes Levi was over the edge.

Eren came seconds later from the tightness gripping around him was too much. But unlike last time the titan shifter didn't soften, and Levi cried out from the over stimulation against his pleasure spot. His legs shook from the strain of keeping himself up, his body already weakened from the intense release.

Sensing he was close to collapsing Eren switched their positions so he was above the captain. He stared with lust filled eyes at the disheveled form beneath him. He was so hypnotized by the sight of him he almost forgot what he was doing.

"Eren...if you're going to move, then _move._ " Levi hissed, thrusting up with impatience.

"I want...I want to hear you say my name with every thrust." It was a bold move, and the glare almost made Eren back down. But a part of him must have a death wish as he took the captain's wrists and pinned them above his head with one hand, the other gripped a hip to make him stop moving.

"You...you little shit." Levi cursed himself for this predicament. Lust had taken over him and now he didn't have the strength to take control of the situation at hand.

But a sick part of him enjoyed this. A part of him in the back of his mind _wanted_ this, this boldness Eren dared to step over a line into dangerous territory. Since Levi had set the line for everyone he had done this with, no one dared step a toe out of line. Not even Erwin, the proud commander who, if given the chance, would gladly make claim of him and end the partnerships.

"So will you say my name? Or am I going to stay like this all night?" Eren leaned closer, their lips centimeters apart. Their breaths mixed in together, and Levi was driven mad, the brat's damned _scent_ was strong again and his will shattered.

"Eren...I want your bite." That was the closest to a plea Eren would get.

Their lips clashed. It wasn't a kiss, more like a battle. Teeth and tongues raged, only to stop when Eren moved his hips with a hard thrust that had Levi shriek as he yanked his head back. Eren moved his focus on the exposed neck as he thrusted again.

"Eren...!" Levi gasped out, unable to gather enough oxygen to scream. With each sound of his name, Eren worked at a faster pace.

He didn't last as long as the first round, mostly due to Levi chanting his name away in breathy moans and gasps sent him over the edge. Eren bit down hard on a neck to quieten his groan so he could better hear Levi's cries and grunts. Eren kept his mouth there, sucking on the skin as they laid there in the warm aftermath.

Eren pulled out and wrapped Levi in his embrace. He smiled upon noticing the captain was asleep. Eren breathed in Levi's scent and fell asleep. He hoped they would be able to enjoy this more often in the future.

WIRSINDDERJAGER

In the morning Eren woke up to an empty bed. And as the day started, everyone getting ready for the expedition, the captain avoided him until it was time to gather their horses. They were in a hurry to avoid an awkward confrontation and ended up having one anyway when they exited the stalls leading their mounts.

They avoided eye contact, standing in silence that was filled with tension. Beyond them, Erwin noticed. He made a mental note to inquire the captain later. He made the call to mount up, and as one the Scouts were on their horses. Squads clustered together and followed Erwin's lead towards the gate.

"Captain? I just want to say I'm sorry." Eren didn't understand what he was apologizing for, but he knew it had to be said.

Levi didn't respond. He could feel the eyes of his squad at his back. He grit his teeth, but willed himself to remain silent and keep his eyes forward. To his luck his squad understood him well enough.

"Don't take it so hard, Eren. He's in captain mode right now." Petra assured the titan shifter.

"This is normal, then?" Eren felt a little better.

"He puts everything aside to focus solely on the expedition. Having distractions are dangerous out in the field. As captain, he has the burden of our lives on his shoulders. And so we do everything we can to ease that burden as much as possible, and follow his example." Eld elaborated, and Eren understood.

"He hates pointless losses. I do too. It's all a waste - " Oluo bit his tongue again, retrieved a cloth to help ease the bleeding.

"Just do what you feel is right. Remember, you can't think of just about yourself out there beyond the wall." Gunther took the chance to ease Eren's worries.

"Thanks, guys." Eren felt better.

"Eren. After the expedition, we'll talk. I can't promise you that it's immediately after, but as soon as I can. Be patient, it might take me a while. I'm not good with sentimentals." Levi finally spoke, pulling his horse to a stop.

They were waiting for the gate to open. Erwin was in front, proud and regal as a commander should be on his pale horse. As the gate groaned as it opened, everyone sat in anticipation. Levi could feel the eyes of his squad on his back once more. They were probably getting over the shock of his admission, knowing full well what it meant.

 _It might be more than just lust between me and Eren. And I am unsure whether to jump in or save us both the pain._

The gate opened. Erwin made the call to charge. Levi clicked his tongue, his mare snorted as she bolted. Within moments squads separated and took formation. Levi led his squad to the center, keeping pace to have the front line within their sights. And as they charged, he set aside every distraction from his mind.

 _Anything can happen out here._

When they returned, Levi was shaken to the core. Despite his leg injury he put his horse's comfort over his own and walked. He couldn't even respond to Petra's father who greeted him cheerfully. Levi didn't have the heart to tell him she was gone, they didn't even have a body.

He managed to care for his horse. He fed and watered her, even handed over an apple for a rare treat. Levi limped his way to the castle just as Eren was helped off a wagon. He looked up to see the captain made a few paces away from the door before collapsing from exhaustion.

"Captain!" Eren cried out, bolting. He staggered, still healing, and it wasn't his arms that caught the unconscious form.

Erwin knelt until he was sitting with Levi partially in his lap, being mindful of the injured leg. Eren stood over them, eyes wide. He wanted to cry at how gentle Erwin handled the captain. Beside him, Mikasa and Armin shared a look, confirming neither understood why Eren was so visibly torn.

 _Why is he holding the captain like that?_

At Erwin's aid Mike and Hange came forward.

"Mike, help me move him. Hange, you're in charge of taking note of the injured and loss. I'll send word for medical soldiers." Erwin was setting aside a portion of his duties for Levi. "Afterward I'll help you with the numbers."

 _He's the other partner..._

How was Eren supposed to compete the commander for Levi's affections? He had thought it was someone in the squad, or even Mike after his weird display earlier this week. But Commander _Erwin_ Eren knew he fucked up for being too arrogant the previous night.

 _I'm going to lose him._

"Eren? Do you need a word? I'm a good listener if you need to vent. And I don't gossip secrets." Hange placed a hand on his shoulder.

Eren hesitated. But heck, it was likely Hange knew of Levi's partnerships. And he knew Mikasa and Armin wouldn't understand. So, unable to find his voice, Eren nodded. He was fighting off the tears that threatened to fall.

"Head to my office after dinner. We'll talk, then. Okay?" Hange still had a job to do. But they were placing Eren as priority for one on one session later.

Eren nodded, his heart still in pieces.


	3. Secrets Are Exposed

Immer: Music and yaoi are my drugs. Just saying. Yes I'm making reference to the song that inspired the chapter title.

Chapter title from the lyrics of the song _Criminal_ by Framing Hanley.

Chapter Three Secrets Are Exposed

WIRSINDDERJAGER

Levi awoke in his bed. He had no recollection how he got there, but he wasn't alone. There was a candle lit, and he groggily turned to see Erwin using his desk to work. Judging by his face, he was going over the list of the missing or confirmed dead.

"Erwin...?" Levi sat up, feeling his muscles strain. He was sore all over, in more ways than one.

"Eren stepped over a line, didn't he." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

Levi glanced over himself. He was in casual wear, and his leg was wrapped. This meant Erwin had seen the marks Eren had caused. He looked up again to see blue eyes studying him. They were guarded, timidly afraid to take things to a personal level.

"He stepped over a few, actually." Levi admitted, unsure if he should trust Erwin with such information, but who else was he to trust? The commander knew him best, it was difficult to keep lies from this man.

"And yet you're not cutting him off. I wouldn't hold it against you to quit the job I assigned to you. I feel responsible for everything that happened to the both of you." Erwin was assuring him, and his tone showed he was honest.

Not that Erwin ever had any reason to lie to him.

"I don't care about the damned job. It's just...I'm so confused. I know I should cut him off, but I can't. He's my responsibility one way or another, it's not like I can avoid him, Erwin." Levi was conflicted.

So many emotions raced through him, he had a hard time calming them. He recognized anger, anger at Eren for being an arrogant prick and overstepped a boundary. He was angry at himself for being so weak to defy him, angry at himself for not cutting the brat out of his sexual life. There was also the insane amount of guilt for putting Eren through all of this, tearing his young heart a harsh lesson about relationships.

All rolled on top of the guilt and grief over the loss of his squad. He felt for the major losses in general, but the loss of an entire squad hit him hardest. In hindsight, he was glad Mikasa wasn't on that list. He wouldn't ever forgive himself if she had perished in her own recklessness, and he would have to live to see Eren's torn face for the rest of his life.

 _It's all about Eren. My thoughts all focus around him, and I can't shake him out of my head._

"How does he make you feel?" Erwin watched as the captain tensed.

"Careful. Are you asking as my partner, or as my commander?" Levi stared, eyes flashing in the candlelight.

"I am asking as a concerned friend."

"...He makes me feel...fuck. I don't know."

"I have never seen you this flustered and bothered in the five years I've known you, Levi." Erwin scooted the chair closer. A hand reached over to cup a pale cheek. Levi stilled, never had the commander ever touched him so gently, so affectionately.

Then the hand lowered to the hickeys on his neck. They were on the same side, inches apart. Something about his eyes made Levi tense, and for the first time he couldn't read Erwin. And he remembered how Mike would mention how possessive Erwin was, and Levi didn't believe him.

 _He never showed me how possessive he was._

Until now. Levi was backed up against the wall, Erwin hovered over him. He was testing his boundaries, their trust. They never broke eye contact, watching for the each other's reactions. Not even as Erwin leaned forward and mouth on a pale throat, opposite of the side Eren had marked the previous night.

His bite was unrelenting and Levi winced.

"Stop." He was shaking, heart aching.

Erwin respected his wishes and pulled away. He leaned their foreheads together. His hands cupped the pale face, thumbs ready to wipe any tears should they come. But they never came. Instead Erwin comforted him with a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"You know how to say no to me. Either Eren doesn't have respect for you, or you can't tell him no. Considering his reaction earlier, I can safely assume it's the latter."

"What do you mean?" Levi furrowed his brow.

"He wanted to help you when you collapsed. But I got to you first. I think he knows about us." Erwin sighed, he hadn't been blind to Eren's reaction.

"I gave him the option to be a sex partner. He knows he's not the only one, I never mentioned names. And he agreed. But then...last night he became possessive. I couldn't...no I wouldn't stop him." Levi elaborated, correcting himself on the latter.

"I see. He makes you feel things you've never felt before. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous."

"But you are."

"I am. I had never meant to burden you with using you to unleash all of my grief on over the years. Somewhere along the way I felt something, but pushed them away. I knew how you stood on relationships. And in the past I gave up a girl for the Survey Corp. So I am prepared to walk alone in life."

 _This is getting too personal._

"Help me. Just for tonight. I need...I need a distraction." Levi changed the subject.

"From your loss or Eren?"

"Both. Just for tonight. I need to clear my head from him. Until I can figure out what I am going to do, I need to clear my head."

 _All I can think of is Eren, even in the arms of someone else._

"I'm always here. Tonight I'll be your distraction." Erwin understood.

That night, a part of him was relieved to feel Erwin's touch. He had missed the feel of him, the gentle hands yet rough hips setting a fast and harsh pace that left him wonderfully aching. And yet in Levi's mind all he could think of was Eren. His body and mind craved Eren even under the ministrations of Erwin.

 _Don't hate me, Eren._

WIRSINDDERJAGER

In Hange's office, Eren told the other everything. He spilled it all, from the accident that started all of this to the previous night. When he got to the point of the captain collapsing, he started crying.

Hange sat silently, absorbing all information slowly. They were also allowing Eren to let out the pain and fury he felt bubbled up inside. It was better this way than a confrontation with Levi or Erwin.

"So you're telling me you stepped over a boundary with the captain, knowing full well of the possible consequences?" This was something critical for Hange to get to the bottom of.

"Yes..." Eren sniffed, calming down from crying his eyes out.

"Yet he didn't immediately punish you."

"Why is that important?" Eren looked up, wiping his eyes.

"Normally, Captain Levi can't stand when someone disobeys him. Erwin isn't an exception, though he never gave Levi any reason to be angry at him. It's just not normal for him to avoid the issue, rather than confront it upright. The captain is a blunt individual."

"So...are you saying I have a good chance with the captain?" Eren didn't want to get his hopes up.

"It's too early to say. That all depends on his interactions with Erwin from this day on. I suggest you give him space, don't push the matter. By doing this it shows him that you respect his boundaries, and last night was a simple mistake." Hange leaned back in their chair.

"I can't say I blame you, it was the heat of the moment and even in the act he would have told you to stop. I have heard of whispers of what he does on his spare time. I have seen when he cut someone out of his life for doing the same thing. So maybe he has a soft spot for you, and only you."

"But...why me?" Eren frowned.

 _I'm just a monster._

"Dunno. I'm not the one you should ask. When the moment is right, ask him. And watch his body language when he answers. Even with him the body doesn't lie while the mouth says otherwise." Hange shrugged.

"Thanks, Hange. And I'm sorry for keeping you awake after...after all that's happened today." Eren stood, feeling much better.

"No problem, Eren. And, should you have any questions about Captain Levi, feel free to ask me. Don't tell him I said this but I'm rooting for you." The squad leader smiled wickedly.

"...Thanks? Anyway, night Hange."

"Good night, Eren."

WIRSINDDERJAGER

For the next week Captain Levi was hardly seen. His leg injury was serious enough Commander Erwin had to put his foot down and ordered the captain to rest from his duties. The concern over Levi was diminished when Erwin announced a special operations mission that was to be taken place inside Wall Sina.

The Survey Corp was eager for revenge on the Female Titan.

None more so than Captain Levi.

And yet he was told he wouldn't take part. In response to this, the captain became irritable. The broom or mop he used as he cleaned became his weapon. Not even Erwin was spared from a whacking if he treaded too close to a clean area with less than spotless boots.

Due to this ball of angst the captain became, Eren avoided bringing up the issue between them. Which Levi was grateful for, to be honest. He was trying to avoid both Erwin and Eren, withdrawing long enough to gather his bearings and sort out his emotions. All the while he was thinking over who to name his new squadron.

 _Erwin gave me the choice to choose._

Levi took his time to figure out. His mind had already chosen Mikasa Ackerman and Jean Kirstein. He was debating on a few others, at the moment going over reports of performances and how close they were to Eren. Since his squad focused solely on protecting the titan shifter, then he had to choose carefully on who would pull off the job with their own life if needed.

On the day the trap for Annie was sprung, Levi made his decision. He had watched from afar, and he knew exactly what names to give to Erwin later. But first, he had Eren to fetch.

 _I'm disobeying Erwin's orders. A first. And all for Eren. Who would have thought?_

Levi had changed and geared up. He was in the air within no time. With precise calculations he swung his blades, watching as Eren was now half out of his titan body.

"Oi. Don't go eating our witness." He stated, yet there wasn't annoyance in his tone.

Eren's titan form collapsed on its knees, slumped over. With precise skill Levi cut Eren out the rest of the way, noticing he was unconscious. Not even bothered to wait until Mikasa or Armin helped him, Levi slumped the titan shifter over his shoulder and maneuvered his way to the ground.

"Captain! Is he?" Mikasa was by his side.

"He'll be fine. Just unconscious for the moment." He let her take him, relieving the strain placed on his leg.

"That was a close one." Armin breathed a sigh of relief.

"We're not out of the woods yet. And something happened to Annie. I didn't get a good look, but it looked like she was being cocooned by something." Levi informed just as Hange and Erwin drew near. A few seconds later Mike joined them.

"You were supposed to stay out of this." The commander was a mix of grateful and stern.

"I didn't see anyone else jumping in and cut him out. He would have eaten her otherwise. I had planned to interfere if she had gotten to the top of the wall, but I wasn't needed." Levi ignored the fury rising within Erwin.

"And you could have made the injury worse. You're worth an entire brigade, humanity can't afford to lose you to retirement."

Behind the captain Eren stirred. He woke up to Erwin's words and shot up, thinking it was being said to him. He blinked when he recognized the captain standing in front of him facing the commander. Eren sensed sparks flying and stared, openly confused.

"As if I would retire because of a leg. I'll charge out of the gates with or without this leg, I don't give a shit either way. And do you mean humanity, or yourself?" Levi didn't understand why he was starting shit, he knew of the consequences.

Erwin tensed up, and Mike held him back. Hange cleverly changed their attention to the corpse of Annie's titan. It was mostly dissipated, leaving behind some oval shaped crystal behind. Jean and Connie studied it.

"What is this? Some form of crystal?"

"Hey! She's inside of it!"

Hange ran to the crystal, hands feeling all over for the texture. Attention deflected for the moment, Erwin followed after the squad leader to have a better look at Annie encased in crystal. Mike stayed behind for a moment. Eren and his friends overheard the conversation without meaning to.

"I warned you he's possessive. And what was that? Are you trying to stir the fire? You'll end up getting yourself burned." The blonde squad leader glared.

"Thank you, Mike. But you're neither a parent or partner. And should you stick your nose in my business again, I'll break it." Levi didn't want to hear any of it.

Mike looked like he wanted to punch the short captain. Levi glared, as if daring him to try. The taller man breathed in deeply, then turned and stiffly walked away. Eren got to his feet, the movement caught the captain's attention.

"Do better not to lose control next time. You almost ate her." Despite his harsh words, there wasn't any venom in them as compared to when Levi spoke to Erwin or Mike.

"I'll be sure it won't happen again." Eren studied him. "And captain? Thank you. For cutting me out before I did something I would regret later."

"I signed up to stop you from getting out of hand. I'm not about to hand that responsibility over to anyone else just yet."

"But what about your leg?" Armin frowned.

"I'm used to pain. Erwin is just taking this too seriously. He's letting his emotions cloud his judgment. I simply reminded him I'm no princess." Levi snorted, pretending he wasn't bothered.

In truth, he was distraught. In a flash of anger he might have just broken a trust that had previously been unbreakable. Levi honestly didn't understand what had come over him in that moment.

"I'm sorry about you and Erwin." Mikasa conveyed her concerns.

"We were never in a relationship to begin with. We were simply...how do you say, friends with benefits? And now he's crossed a line. I knew it was to end at some point." Levi shrugged with indifference.

 _All good things come to an end._

WIRSINDDERJAGER

"Jean Kirstein, Mikasa Ackerman, Connie Springer, Sasha Braus, Armin Arlert, and Krista Lenz. Report to me tomorrow at dawn to start training as the new members of the Special Forces Squad." Levi announced at the end of dinner, the night of the bittersweet victory on capturing Annie.

"Sweet! We get to work under Captain Levi!"

"That's not something to boast about in front of the captain after what happened to the previous squad."

"I have to work with Eren?"

"Huh? But I'm not strong..." Krista was hesitant to be a burden.

"Yeah, neither am I." Armin assured her. "But he must have his reasons to name us weaklings."

"I named all of you for the simple fact you're all capable. Our objective is to protect Eren, even with our very lives. Some of you I know will do just that. Others, I trust to take the initiative should something happen." Levi left out the part of whether something were to happen to _him_.

 _My previous squad was best suited for myself. But throw Eren into the picture, and it overthrew our rhythm to operate at our best. My absence didn't help matters. I aim to correct that with this new squad._

This was why he included Armin in the end. At first he wasn't going to, on the account he would slow them down. But he proved himself worthy with his brilliant mind, able to come up with plans on the spot that actually worked. With Armin's plans and Jean's ability to lead, Mikasa's strength, Connie's and Sasha's instincts, and Krista's compassion this should make the squad run smoother to complete their objectives.

"Who would be second in command?" Eren looked up at him.

"At current, no one. Once I've had the time to better judge who is suited for the responsibility then I will name my second in command." Honestly it was a toss up between Mikasa and Jean.

 _They each share qualities the other lacks to be a leader._

Mikasa had the strength. She could easily be someone he could rely on. But after the first encounter with Annie, he wasn't so sure if she could remain level headed enough while Eren was in serious danger. He read the reports of Jean's performance in Trost. He was pleased with the results, but in field he lacked experience to gain the confidence to lead.

 _It all depends how they mature as time goes on and adjust to be a Scout._

"Now get to bed, you brats. I won't settle for tardiness tomorrow. Anyone who shows up five minutes late are expected to clean toilets for a week." Levi felt a sick satisfaction as they scrambled. They each took their plates to the kitchen and headed for bed.

Except for one Eren _Fucking_ Jaeger.

"What do you want, Eren?" Levi narrows his eyes at him.

"Can we talk?"

"We're talking now, aren't we?"

"You know what I mean, captain."

 _I guess I can't run from the problem forever._

"...Fine. Follow me." Levi gave in, leading the way to his room. He ignored the curious glances from his new squadron.

Levi took his seat at his desk, setting out a special tea set. The teapot had a holder that underneath where a small candle could be placed and heat up the liquid. He set it up, using some of his own personal tea leaves he stored in his desk. He only used them on rare occasions, as these are the more expensive brand from the inner city.

"Don't just stand at the door like a moron. Sit." Levi motioned to the bed. Eren nervously made his way over to the bed and sat, waiting patiently.

"I can guess what you want to talk to me about. It's about us, right?"

"I know Erwin is your other partner."

"Was. What you saw earlier was me ending his partnership with me." Levi finished his work with the tea set and turned to meet Eren's gaze while they waited for the tea to heat up.

"What? Why did you end it? I...I thought you would be ending our partnership in favor of the commander's." Eren blinked, confused. And in the midst of the confusion, even in the dim candlelight Levi could see hope in those expressive eyes.

"A rational part of me wanted to. And yet here we are. I trust Erwin with my life, and he is one of few to earn my complete respect and loyalty. But I can't stand when he crosses a boundary with me."

"But I've also crossed a line."

"Hence why I avoided you for a while. The difference, Eren, is I can't seem to defy you. I can't tell you to stop. And yet I could freely tell Erwin and Mike to leave me alone. With you, however? You draw me in. I can't stay mad at you. Granted, I will be mad for a while, but not like how I am with everyone else."

Eren sat there, letting the information sink in. Levi waited a long moment. As minutes passed, the tea was ready. He poured some into two cups. Once they cooled enough to hold he handed one to Eren before he continued on.

"I find myself forgiving you for what you did. As for Erwin? I can't forgive him. He acted out of line. He started treating me like glass. I hate feeling like I am fragile, because I'm not. I meant it that I would be willing to ride out beyond the wall with or without this leg. I won't be dying behind these caged walls while people die in the name of humanity's sake."

"You mean you would...rather die out there? Even if we don't make it to our goals?" Eren furrowed his brow.

"I accepted death a long time ago. And yet death has yet to come greet me. That doesn't mean I'm suicidal. When my time comes, it's my time. But until then I will keep fighting with everything I got. Even as my friends fall, their wings broken, I will keep flying in honor of their memories."

 _What am I doing? This is something I never told Erwin. Yet here I am telling my deepest secrets to Eren._

"You have to learn to grasp your dream. Whatever drives you onward, hold it close to your heart and don't lose sight of it. Comrades die each time we venture beyond the wall. It's something you have to learn to accept." Levi knew the deaths of the first squad was still fresh for them, but he had to say something about it.

"I realize that now. I thought that, since I'm a titan, I can prevent lives lost. I was foolish and naive." Eren lowered his head.

"Mistakes happen at every turn. Mine was allowing the squad leave without me. But I doubt even if I was there when she attacked, I wouldn't have made the difference. Loss can also serve to give you strength, by tapping into strength you didn't know you had."

"Is that how you stopped her to rescue me?" Eren recalled how Mikasa told him the captain moved with such speed and fury, even she wouldn't have been able to match.

"Mm. Since I was young, I was always strong. I knew what to do, even in the most intense situations. I let my body take over and simply react. I have better control of this strength by pushing all thoughts and emotions aside. Without distractions I can better utilize my strength and act accordingly."

"Reminds me of Mikasa. She's the same way, but she can't control it as well as you." Eren commented with a chuckle.

 _That's something I will check on with her later._

"Her emotional ties with you are her distraction. It's why even though most would consider obvious of me naming her my second in command, I haven't because of that one simple detail. She wanted to kill Annie and ignored my orders. It almost got her killed." Levi admitted, sipping his tea.

"So that's how you injured your leg." Eren guessed, feeling mixed emotions.

"Don't blame her. She has shown progress to reign in her emotions better. And I may or may not have intentionally dumped dirty water on her earlier this week as punishment."

At his words Eren laughed. The sound made Levi's heart skip. The beautiful sound did things to him. Most notably he felt grateful to hear Eren laugh after all that had happened this week. He was also swelled with pride at the fact he was the one who made Eren laugh. And without a moment of hesitation he moved. He didn't even bother holding back the sudden need to do something he had never done with anyone else.

Levi's hands were gentle as they cupped tanned cheeks. Eren stopped laughing to blink in surprise. He stared in awe, and Levi found himself drowning in those eyes and the ever intoxicating scent. After a moment of staring Levi surprised both of them and leaned in for a kiss.


	4. You Were Trouble

Immer: Yays, this story is getting loves.

Chapter title based off the song _Trouble_ by Mike Tompkins.

Chapter Four You Were Trouble

WIRSINDDERJAGER

"Armin, pick up the pace. Horse Face, stop horsing around. Sasha, put that bread away, now isn't the time to stuff your face in. Did you brats graduate without discipline? And most of you were top of the class. Top of the class, my ass." Captain Levi, the squad learned, was a harsh leader.

But they knew better than to talk back. Jean learned this early on, hence why the captain refused to call him by his name in means to humiliate and drive into his skull not to question the captain's authority. When told they would be focusing on stamina and endurance training Jean made the mistake of asking for something more challenging.

"Krista, stop lagging behind on purpose. It's good to reserve some strength, but not to the point you're defeating the purpose of this training. My aim is to push you brats further than you've ever done before. And should you feel like you're about to collapse, don't hesitate to stop and yell titan fodder." Levi instructed, noting they were coming near three titan dummies.

"Separate into three smaller groups. We're coming up upon titans." He was staying his blades for now. He wanted to watch how these guys worked.

They scrambled, and he noted how they each instinctively scurried behind certain people. Connie and Sasha followed behind Jean's lead, who took them to the right. To the left Mikasa led Armin and Krista. Eren took to the middle, behind Levi.

The captain flipped to raise himself higher to leave Eren alone. This made them all realize he was staying his blades. Krista and Sasha realized the mistake and switched to be beside Eren. Within seconds they all sliced their targets.

"Learn to pay attention to the smallest details. Did I pull my blades? You shits almost left Eren alone. Our objective is to protect him, not serve him on a silver platter." Levi realized something, this was also partially his own fault for not clarifying earlier.

"Everyone stop." He swooped down to the ground. He didn't trust his ability to land safely on a branch with his leg still sore. To ensure he didn't skid in the dirt he flipped to slow his speed and landed safely on his feet.

The squad landed around him. Armin collapsed face flat on the ground. Mikasa and Eren were at his side and helped him up. Krista was on her knees, shaking. Sasha was green in the face, but instead of vomiting she stuffed the last of the bread she snuck from the kitchens in. Connie was leaning forward, catching his breath.

"I forgot to clarify something beforehand. I don't work like other captains."

"Yeah, no shit." Jean cursed under his breath.

"What I mean is, I don't give orders and tell you shits what to do. I will give orders when necessary, but for the most part I leave it up to everyone else. In the end, it's still up to me to make the last call in certain scenarios." Levi elaborated, and he could see their minds working.

"You don't want a repeat of your previous squad. In an event something happens to you, you don't want us losing our heads like chickens." Jean received horrified looks from everyone, but Levi was grateful.

"Exactly. I'm grooming you lot to take matters into your own hands and keep your heads. Out there beyond the wall is not the time to mourn. Save it for the return. With every expedition, anything can happen. Anyone can die at any given time. Don't rely solely on me to get us out of a tight spot."

 _I might be Humanity's Strongest, but I'm not a miracle like Erwin or Armin._

"And another thing, don't always stand behind the strong. Unless special circumstances happen, they can very likely handle themselves. They don't need a full brigade as back up. I made this squad bigger on purpose, to balance out strength and duty to increase our chances of success." Levi was looking at Eren especially.

 _Just because we're stepping into dangerous territory together doesn't mean he should stick by my side at all times. He should have learned from Erwin's mistake._

"Does that mean we shouldn't surround Eren? He's pretty strong." Sasha was confused, and she wasn't the only one.

"No, by all means stay by his side as much as possible. Thus far he hasn't shown me he can't act rationally out there. But that doesn't mean crowd him. Too close together when surrounded by titans is just as dangerous as being alone."

There was a flash in Eren's eyes. Levi registered hurt and it was hard not to flinch. There was also fury rising up, but Eren fought it down. He knew now wasn't the time to talk about it. And perhaps later after calming down he would be able to think with a little more rational, rather than letting his emotions drive him.

"Let's take a break. In a bit we'll move on to hand to hand combat." Levi could feel the strain on his leg was nearly unbearable. As much as he wanted to continue, it would be too reckless.

He took a step and the searing pain was worse. It shot up in hot intense pain he never felt before. Levi almost lost balance, but quickly regained. The misstep didn't go unnoticed by his squad, however.

"I think you should have that leg checked." Krista handed him some water, and he gratefully drank a few gulpfuls.

"I have to talk to Hange later anyway." It wasn't true, but he had meant to ask Hange a few things, anyway.

"Do you need help back to base, captain?" The girl was being genuinely concerned.

"I'll be fine." Levi forced himself to move despite the pain.

When they reached the castle, Levi made a beeline for Hange's office. He got to the door and heard voices. He knocked out of politeness, when he usually didn't care and walked in if someone was alone. With Hange he learned to knock if there were voices.

 _The image of Hange and Moblit...ugh._

To this day that made him shiver whenever he was reminded of it. However, this time it wasn't Moblit's voice that he heard. Levi wasn't sure, but the it might belong to Erwin. He heard quick footsteps, followed by Hange overstepping or tripped, hitting their head against the door.

They opened the door wide and exclaimed with excitement at the sight of Levi. But his focus wasn't on Hange, but someone beyond. He had been right, it was Erwin. Levi immediately lowered his gaze when he read his eyes.

"Captain Levi! What a surprise! To what do I owe the pleasure of this rare visit? Is your leg okay?"

"I'll come back later." Levi turned, wincing as he couldn't help his limp.

"I was just leaving, actually." It was a lie, but even though Erwin was angry with him, he put Levi before himself. The commander gathered his papers and moved to leave.

Levi moved out of the way for him, refusing to meet his eyes as he passed. When he was gone, Hange gently ushered him inside the office. Levi was too distraught to care about the mess. Hange closed the door, breathing out a sigh.

"Well that was awkward."

"Don't make this anymore awkward, Hange. I'm not in the mood." Levi helped himself to sit.

"Okay." They nodded, it was one of the rare times he used their name instead of his nickname. "So what's troubling you? Need me to check that leg of yours?"

"That, and, I have a question." Levi lifted his leg to rest on the other chair Hange scooted closer. The squad leader knelt down and carefully removed the boot. Being as gentle as possible they pulled the pants leg up to have a better look.

"It's swollen. I suggest you take long baths every other day to help ease the swelling. Does it burn each time you move it?"

"Only after a while."

"You have to take precautions. I know you want to get back into your duties as usual, but you don't have Eren's healing abilities. You can't rush the healing process." Hange said as they applied a salve for inflammatory.

"So, what did you want to ask me?"

"It's stupid." He was suddenly feeling nervous.

"Oh, come on. It has to be something important for you to seek me out for answers. You usually turn to Erwin for questions. But things are awkward between you two, and you are afraid of Eren judging you, so you turn to me."

"You know about me and Eren?" Levi stared, panic rising. He had thought they weren't that obvious.

"Relax, Eren vented to me a while back. Hey, it was better me than to confront Erwin. The poor kid was scared you would drop him in favor of Erwin after one little mistake."

"I can't stay mad at him, Hange." He admitted, earning a surprised look.

"That's a first. When people cross the line with you, you don't give them the light of day. Although Erwin is a close second, isn't he?"

"I just...I want to go back to the way things were before Eren. I'm scared. I'm walking into territory I never went with anyone else, and it came with the sacrifice of breaking ties with Erwin. Five years of trust down the drain. And we're both to blame on that one, but I didn't have to take things too far."

Hange studied the captain. It was rare to see him so open with his feelings, let alone admit he was scared. The captain accepted responsibility of his actions when he went too far, that Hange knew. But to express he was scared left the other squad leader torn.

"You just have to tread carefully. Take things slow. Does Eren know how frightened you are?" Hange brought out clean bandages and started wrapping.

"No. Otherwise I wouldn't be talking to you about it." Levi bit his lip.

"Then talk to him. Tell him what's bothering you. He might be young, but he's understanding. As for Erwin, let things cool down. I'm sure the two of you can work things out. It won't be as the same as before, but I can tell you guys care enough to put it behind you." Hange finished wrapping, and with caution they pulled the pants leg down to how it was before.

"We got side tracked. I meant to ask a question and we started talking about my sex life." Levi realized, and Hange laughed.

"Well, now do you feel better enough to ask me what's on your mind?"

"Does Eren's scent intoxicate anyone?" Levi managed to ask with a straight face.

"You're wondering if it's his ability of being a titan that draws people to him through his smell?" Hange read his implication, and he nodded. "Well, I haven't noticed his scent doing things to me. Or anyone else for that matter. What, does his smell drive you crazy?"

"It's one of my major weaknesses with him, other than his eyes." Levi admitted, knowing Hange would figure it all out eventually.

"Captain Levi, why, I think I understand your problem."

"What? What are you insinuating, Four-Eyes?"

"Well, they say that anyone's natural scent that attracts you is an ideal partner. And most of the time, that partner becomes life long. So, captain, to put it simply, you're falling in love."

Hange expected to be kicked in the face. Their nose bled, and they covered it while laughing. Levi promptly got up and left, trying to retain his dignity. But it was too late, Hange would forever remember the day Captain Levi blushed so brightly like a hopeless love struck fool.

"Remember to bathe later! Half an hour of a soak should help your leg!"

 _He is love struck, whether he realizes it or not._

WIRSINDDERJAGER

Levi sighed, relishing in the hot tub. He hated the responsibility as captain, but he didn't mind one of the perks, which his own private bath. There were only a handful of private baths in the castle, the rest were a bunch of showers in one room. One for the men's, the other for the women.

He was so relaxed from the hot water and steam that he must have dozed off. He was woken up with a gentle shake, his eyes heavy. Levi looked up to Eren leaning over.

"What are you doing?"

"I was cleaning the private baths and when I got here, you were asleep." Eren blushed, doing his best not to look at the captain's lower area.

"It was your turn to clean this area?"

"Well...we drew sticks. I got the shortest. So I ended up having to do it." Outside they heard people shuffling in, knocking on other doors to check if it was being used or not.

One of them Levi recognized Hange and Moblit. To his luck they chose further down the hallway. It saved them from hearing everything that they were about to do. Across the hall and a few doors down from them the sound of water also echoed.

 _Well there goes my peace and quiet._

"Um...what's going on?" Eren blushed at the sounds of moaning.

"Didn't you know? These private baths are also secret sex orgies." Levi couldn't help himself. The way the titan shifter blushed gave him a wicked idea.

He pushed himself up and sat on the edge of the large tub. He pulled the drain, the water had gone too cold. Levi shivered from how cold it was. Just how long had he been out? He hadn't meant to take a nap in a bath. Levi pushed away the towel, much to Eren's confusion.

"Strip. You smell sour. So I'm drawing another bath." Levi said so casually, not even bothered as the moans grew louder.

"But...I'm supposed to be cleaning..." Eren gulped, nervously shifting his weight, trying not to get hard.

"And I'm your captain. You cleaned the others, yes?"

Eren nodded, his face so red he was bright as a tomato. Levi found it adorable, but he wasn't going to admit that out loud. More people shuffled into the other private baths. Guess everyone needed to let off some steam today, as gasps, groans and grunts echoed all throughout.

"Then you're done cleaning. Now strip, before I throw you in, clothes and all." By now the large tub was half full. It was one of those that were in the floor and was decently deep, with the sides coming up only a few feet. The bath was big enough to fit four grown adults to sit around comfortably.

Levi heard rustling of clothes. He took one of the special liquid stuff to make the bath water smell pleasant. He normally didn't use these, but he felt like spoiling Eren. The brat had to make use of the men's showers, never fully private. He sniffed all the options, and chose lavender mixed with vanilla and something else equally as calming.

He poured it in, careful not to use the whole bottle or use too much. When he placed the bottle back in place and turned to face Eren. He was greeted with a fully hard cock in the face. He looked up to meet Eren's gaze, who was equally embarrassed and turned on.

"Do you miss my mouth that much?" Levi wasn't as displeased as he thought he would.

 _His fucking scent is so strong._

"Y-Yes. Since last night I couldn't stop thinking of you."

 _All we did last night was kiss._

In truth Levi couldn't stop thinking about him either. Even the kiss, everything Eren felt so _right_. Even now, with the foul scent of sweat and a day's worth without a wash, Levi found himself opening his mouth to take it in. Eren gasped, surprised this had gone his way.

Unlike the first time where they were rushed, Levi took his time. He worked himself to take more of Eren in slowly. Along the way he used his tongue, earning gasps and moans. Eren tried to cover his mouth so he wouldn't be heard, and Levi pulled away.

"Don't hold back. This sort of act in the private baths are normal." Levi continued on taking Eren into his mouth.

Within a short amount of time Levi had Eren moaning louder. He wasn't covering his mouth anymore to the captain's delight. Soon the moans were joined with slurps as Levi picked up the pace. As Eren neared completion he gripped the captain's hair and started thrusting. Levi was too lost in his arousal to care he was being face fucked, and the scent was messing with his mind. Eren soon came and once more Levi happily swallowed the load.

Eren was shaking, barely able to stand. Levi helped into the tub and had him sit. The young man released a quiet sigh at the warmth of the water and the calming floral scent. It soothed his aches and pains, and Levi grabbed a sponge and started rubbing his back. Eren leaned against his touch.

Levi didn't care if he found release or not. His length was slowly softening. The cold tiles of the tub helped calm him, so he could better focus cleaning Eren. After scrubbing his back, Levi took to washing his hair. He lathed his fingers in soap and started, his fingers messaging the scalp.

"Can I wash your hair when you're done?" Eren tentatively requested.

"Mm. Just don't get soap in my eyes." Levi warned, tilting Eren's head back so the foaming bubbles didn't go down his face.

A few minutes later Levi washed the soap out of now soft brown locks. They switched places, and Eren started the same process. First he took a sponge to the captain's back, and Levi leaned against the gentle touch. When it was time for his hair Eren's hands felt so good Levi couldn't hold back a soft purr in the back of his throat.

 _He's like a kitten, melting into my touch._

By the end Levi had fallen asleep again. Eren carefully scooped him up in his arms and out of the tub. He dried them both, being mindful of the injured leg. By now, the sexual activities had diminished, and either everyone was enjoying a long soak or had already left. Eren put his clothes on, and dressed the captain in a shirt and pants before carrying him to his room.

Unknown to Eren, someone had exited their own bath. Their eyes caught sight of them, and watched with hurt and regret. The blue eyes willed away the pain, the man continued on as if he had never witnessed such a thing.

WIRSINDDERJAGER

"Hey, Eren. What took you so long to clean the private baths?" Jean smirked as they sat in the same table.

"Everyone made a mess." Eren shrugged, leaving it at that.

"Then why do you smell like pretty flowers? You some kind of princess?" Jean was persistant, and this time Eren glared.

"What, got a problem the way I smell, Horse Face? Cuz you smell like horse shit."

"Now that was uncalled for, you psychotic moron!" He lashed out with a kick under the table. Eren responded by kicking back.

"Then don't call me a princess!"

"I can't help it if you smell like florals meant for a girl!" Jean sat down and cleared his throat. "So, who did you score?"

"I didn't score anyone. Not that it's any of your business, anyway." Eren continued eating.

"Jeez, Eren. So defensive." Connie commented, smirking as he elbowed Jean, who laughed.

"So he _is_ seeing someone!" Krista beamed, next to her Ymir busted up laughing.

"What's so funny?" Eren narrowed his eyes.

"Didn't think _you_ would attract anyone besides Mikasa. Pffft!" Ymir snorted with a wave of her hand.

"I don't judge you with Krista. As long as you treat her right I don't care." Eren replied, and both girls blushed, one of them choked on her piece of bread.

"Are you implying I don't treat her right, Jaeger?" Ymir stood up, glaring.

"Calm your tits, Ymir. And sit down. For the record I wasn't. But she's a friend. I don't just sit around and twiddle my thumbs if my friends are abused." Eren rolled his eyes.

"Hey guys, where's the captain?" Armin glanced around, noticing the lack of a certain someone.

"Probably working. Or cleaning." Mikasa shrugged. "He can take care of himself just fine."

"It's not like him missing out on a meal." Sasha said through a mouthful of food.

"Who cares? I'm more interested in who Eren got wrapped around his finger. Or is it the other way around?" Jean wasn't going to let that one go.

"Why do you want to know so bad?" Eren frowned, suspicious again.

"Oh, no reason. What other gossip we're supposed to occupy our time with?" Jean avoided mentioning Annie. He didn't have to say it, everyone knew what he meant.

"So, Eren. Spill, who is it?" Armin was curious as well.

"No one." Eren knew the captain wasn't ready.

"Aw, you shy? Or embarrassed about the relationship?" Ymir teased.

"It's nothing like that! We're just not ready, okay? Can you guys leave it alone right now? I just want to eat dinner and go to bed. Is that so hard to understand?" Eren snapped, fist slamming on the table.

"Okay, okay, we get it. Calm down, man."

At the stairs, out of everyone's view, Levi heard the whole thing. He was out of sight of his squad, but he was in perfect view of Erwin. The captain felt his blood freeze as blue eyes stared at him, too well guarded for him to read his emotions. It brought back memories of when Levi was brought into the Survey Corp, and he didn't understand the man's intentions.

 _Back to square one it is._

But was it even worth it? Levi wanted to believe it to be. Aside from Eren, Erwin was the only other person Levi would lay his life down for. He would sacrifice himself for them, and the tension hurt his already broken heart.

 _I am too old and tired for this._

And Levi had no one to blame but himself.

"No, but seriously. At least give us a hint, Eren."

"I don't have to tell any of you shit."

"He sounds like Captain Shorty."

"Oi. I didn't hear what I think I just heard, did I?" A dark voice interrupted.

Everyone tensed, the most panicked was Jean. He didn't have to turn around to see Captain Levi standing behind him. Everyone across the table stared past his head in horror. Sasha couldn't even chew the bread she had stolen off of Connie's plate, even though it was sticking out of her mouth.

"What did you call me, Kirstein?"

"Uh...I didn't mean to call you Captain Shorty, Captain Shortstuff - I mean Fun Sized - I mean...I'm so dead, aren't I?" Jean paled.

"You get to clean the private baths for the next week. Enjoy the fuck fests in there." Levi glared as some of the others snickered. "The rest of you get to clean _all_ of the stables for the same amount of time."

Levi enjoyed the groans as he walked away to grab himself a plate. As he left, Jean caught a scent near identical to the floral soap that coated Eren. He followed his nose and stared in horror at the retreating captain. The realization hit him and he shuddered.

 _I am so dead. I am so, so dead._


	5. Choking On My Pride

Immer: Things are getting awkward and reality is hitting the face.

Title from the lyrics of _Castle_ by Halsey.

Chapter Five Choking On My Pride

WIRSINDDERJAGER

"So, you and Eren..." Jean caught the captain alone at the stables a week after the nicknames incident.

Levi stared, eyes narrowed. He had expected Mikasa or Armin to figure it out first, but not Jean. This was a strange turn of events.

"Just spit it out, Kirstein."

"Look, I'm not judging. It's just...I've heard of whispers back in the Training Corp. About you. And not all of them good. I just want to make sure you didn't trap him, or something."

 _...Ah. Looking out for a friend._

"I assure you, I am not using Eren."

"Forgive me for being honest, but I don't know if I can fully believe you, captain."

 _You're not one of the first to doubt me._

"Jean. Can you keep a secret to your grave?"

"Yes, captain."

"Then let me tell you something. I used to be in a partnership with Erwin. When Eren came to the picture, and Erwin started being possessive, I had to choose between them. In the end I chose Eren."

"Do you regret it? Choosing Eren."

"I broke a five year long trust for him. Do I regret it? Sometimes. But whenever I'm around Eren, nothing else matters." Levi was being honest. If Jean wasn't in his squad and a friend of Eren's, he wouldn't have bothered telling him any of this.

"He's like your warm sun, clearing away your storm..." Jean trailed off, a strange look in his eyes.

 _He is the sun. His presence alone calms my demons, my nightmares._

"That's one way to put it. I take it you had someone special?"

"He died. Back in Trost. To this day it still fucks me up sometimes." Jean choked, biting his lip.

"I am sorry to hear that." Levi didn't know what else to say.

"It's okay. I'm learning day by day. I should get back to my chores."

He turned to leave. Jean made a few steps and stopped. Levi stared, half expecting him to say something more. Jean half turned, eyes bright and flashed a devious smirk.

"Yo, captain. Should you hurt him, I don't care about Mikasa or Armin, I get first dibs punching your face."

 _Cheeky brat. But I can't hold it against him._

"Captain, Commander Erwin needs you in his office." Mike approached, expression stern.

"What for?" Levi had hoped for a nap after he was done with his chores.

"I don't know. But don't keep him waiting."

And just as he came, Mike went. Levi watched him go, unsure what to make of this. But even so, he finished grooming his horse. With growing dread he made his way towards Erwin's office. He passed by Eren, who was cleaning with Mikasa and Armin.

"Everything okay, captain?" Eren noticed how pale he was.

"Fine. Keep dusting. There's a spot you lot missed. Get to it." Levi didn't mean to be harsh, but his main concern was something else.

He entered the office without even knocking.

"Ah, I was wondering if you were going to show up." Erwin didn't even look up from the paperwork.

"Did you have doubts? Even though we're not partners, I'm still your loyal dog. And normally you request my presence at night, not in the middle of the day."

"Does this mean you're ready to talk about it?" Erwin finally looked up.

"..." Levi opened his mouth, but no words came out. Instead he diverted his gaze to the floorboards.

"It's all right if you're not ready. I have buried my heart. So whenever you're ready, you know where to find me." Erwin assured, and Levi nodded.

"So, what did you need my help with?"

"I think the Military Police are planning something. Specifically towards me. Since we saw an exposed titan inside Wall Sina, I have been trying to get at the bottom of it. I have an old friend who joined the MP, and he sent me a warning letter. All he can say is to be careful, I'm apparently stirring something up."

"You proved to them that one of their own was a titan. That's not something they will take standing down, it's a huge hit to their pride." Levi didn't mention the fact they were responsible for all the damages Eren and Annie caused.

"Yes, and I want to prepare for the worst."

"...You saying they might kill you?" He stared, following the implementations.

"They very well might try." Blue eyes stared back.

"...What do you want me to do?"

WIRSINDDERJAGER

That night, word was brought to them that titans have breached the wall. Levi was forced to be uninvolved, due to his leg. But the chaos of the aftermath was all too much to fully process. He hadn't been informed of Eren's kidnapping until long after the matter. But he didn't have time to be angry when Erwin returned missing an arm, and his condition wasn't good.

At first it was touch and go, and eventually he was told Erwin would make it. Levi took his leave before the commander woke up. He had a squad to reunite with, and he missed Eren horribly. All the while he was still wrapping his head around this, all the reports and the revelation of three more titans.

 _This is all too much to process at once._

When he entered the castle he was immediately pulled into a hug by Eren. Levi didn't have the heart to reprimand him for such public affections, too relieved to finally breathe in his scent and feel his strong arms around him. In fact the feel of them almost had him fall asleep then and there.

"How's the commander?" Eren pulled away, eyes genuinely concerned.

"He'll make it. But there are disturbing reports. Some of us are missing. And after a head count, some villages are unaccounted for." Levi was exhausted, he wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and let Eren cuddle with him.

"You look like shit, captain." Jean commented, but there was worry in his voice as well.

"I came soon as I knew Erwin would be all right. My apologies for not coming sooner, but if he had...I wouldn't forgive myself for not being there." He sighed, taking a seat. He hardly had any sleep last few days.

"I feel like it's my fault." Eren brought him some tea, which Levi gratefully took a sip.

"Don't blame yourself. Erwin is a stubborn one." Levi assured him.

"So what's going to happen now?" Armin inquired, voicing everyone's thoughts.

"For now, we wait. I don't know what we're waiting for, but with a number of losses and Erwin is down for the account for the moment, we don't have much else to do."

 _We are to watch over Eren and Historia._

"In the meantime, I think it's time you tell us your true background. Hange told me what you confessed to them." He might have been exhausted, but he had to learn.

She told her family history. And how her mother died, and she would have died soon after, but her father had a change of heart. Conveniently, shortly after the breach of Wall Maria, her father lost all of his heirs in one night. She was the bastard child, now the only living heir to the Reiss family.

Then she signed up for military. She chose the Survey Corp because it meant a higher risk of her death. But now she doesn't wish to die. She found a family among them, and she was selfish all along despite her kindness.

Levi didn't know what to think.

He went to bed that night with a heavy heart. The next morning, Hange arrived to inform they were to test Eren's titan powers. Their hope to retake Wall Maria was bleak, as Eren didn't seem to have the hardening ability like Annie. Instead they switched to learning as much as they could of Eren's abilities.

By the third transformation Levi had enough.

"We're done, Hange." He snarled as he swooped in and cut Eren out. To his concern the brat was unconscious.

"But...but I have to learn more!" Hange hadn't seen Eren's state yet.

"Are you blind? This wasn't a full fledged titan form. And the brat is unconscious. Mikasa, help me move him." Levi was irritable for a number of reasons.

 _Fucking Hange is working him to exhaustion._

Mikasa was by his side. Together they carried Eren off of his titan body. He would have liked to carry Eren the rest of the way, but his leg started acting up. So with reluctance he allowed Mikasa taking over the responsibility. When they all returned to base, they were greeted with a man they had never seen before.

He was sitting at one of the dining tables, casually finishing a meal and a drink. But his uniform had them all on edge.

"What's a shiny pig doing here?" Levi glared, earning an elbow in the ribs by Hange, who cleared their throat.

"Excuse him, he's having a rough day. So what do we owe this visit...?"

"It's as they say about you, captain. You're a wild dog without Erwin holding the leash." The man studied him.

In a flash of fury Levi took a step with the intent of slamming this man's head to the table. His squad reacted quickly, and arms grabbed him, while Hange held an arm out to hold him back. Even with three people clinging onto him it was a strain to keep him in place.

"Let's keep this as professional as possible. Why are you here?" Hange knew the longer this man was here, the less chances of him leaving without a beating.

"I come with a message from my old friend Erwin, now that he's awake. He wants to see Squad Leader Hange and Captain Levi."

"Is that all?" Hange frowned, unsure why this man in particular would bother coming all they way out here just for that.

"That is all. I happened to be visiting him when he said he wanted to see you guys. So I figured I should volunteer."

"It's more than just that, isn't it? You came here antagonizing Captain Levi." Armin squeezed by to stand in front of the captain.

The man drank the last of his drink and stood up.

"I've been meaning to see him for myself. Since Erwin became commander, suddenly Levi is his most loyal dog. I know Erwin is a chess master, and a damned good one. He pulls strings like it's a game, an excellent puppet master. After seeing you in person, _Captain_ Levi, my assumption is correct. You're his most powerful piece, the Queen. And yet he couldn't conquer you, could he? After all, there is Eren Jaeger."

In a flash Levi broke free. All he saw was red, and he lost control. One moment he was standing, the next he had the man down on the floor, beating his face in with a fist, and the other choking him. He was in such a fury he hadn't noticed a hand was choking his own throat, almost crushing it. Then someone grabbed hold of him and yanked him to the side.

He was forced on the wooden floor, an arm twisted back and the weight of someone holding him down. Levi struggled, but the lack of oxygen finally hit him. His body gave up, as he gasped and coughed. His throat hurt and he knew it would bruise.

"I think it's time you leave. You are one step away from having an entire squad on your ass. So get out of here, and don't _ever_ come back." Jean snarled, gripping the man's collar. When he nodded, Jean let go, but not once his eyes never strayed from the officer as he scrambled to his feet.

"I remember your thug life in the Underground City. You were a pain in the ass, and Erwin had the bright idea to recruit you. Dogs like you aren't meant to be in the military."

Levi's eyes flashed a dangerous glint. He struggled to shake whoever held him down, but it proved to be difficult. He felt the other body laid fully down on top of him, crushing him. It was difficult to breathe again, and he was forced to be still.

"I said, _leave_ , buddy. Say shit one more time, and I can't guarantee your safety." Jean pushed him to the door.

"All right, all right. I'm out." He scoffed, heading for the door.

When he left everyone sighed. Eyes turned to Levi, who struggled once more.

"Let. Me. _Up._ " He snarled at his captor.

"Are you going to behave? If I let you up, you're not going to hunt him down are you?" Hange responded coldly.

"I. Can't. _Breathe._ Now let me up, Four-Eyes!" He wheezed, and it must have been enough for Hange.

The hold on his arm loosened, and they slowly got off of him. Levi rolled to his back and sat up, gasping loudly. His throat still hurt, and he undid the caravet. With reluctance he pulled it off the rest of the way, hand feeling over where it was sore.

"Might want to keep that on when you see Erwin. It's already a dark bruise." Hange advised, not liking how nasty it appeared.

"Were you _trying_ to kill him or something, captain?" Jean stood over him. "And what was he on about with Erwin and Eren?"

 _Shit. I bet it was the Military Police who made such a stink about the fake relationship until the higher ups gave in._

He felt everything crushing down around him. The ground was crumbling underneath him. He was drowning, drowning as the lies caught up to him. He knew it would eventually, he had hoped to find the moment to tell Eren everything. But whenever he was about to, he lost his courage.

 _Maybe I am falling in love._

This didn't calm his rising panic. He couldn't hear anyone around him, withdrawn into his own world. When an arm touched him, he violently pushed away. A second later arms scooped him up, and he reacted by thrashing. In his mind the arms were dangerous. He was placed somewhere, and the arms left him alone. Levi withdrew further into his head.

When he came to, he was sitting on a couch. His cheeks were wet with drying tear stains. And he was wrapped around in a blanket. Beside him he recognised a familiar scent. He didn't have to turn to know it was Eren. On an another side he caught sight of blonde hair. Since Mikasa was having a quiet conversation with Hange at their desk, he guessed the blonde was Armin.

"Hey, you okay? I heard what happened. I'm sorry I wasn't awake during that." Eren scooted closer, afraid to touch him.

"...What happened?" At first all he remembered was overseeing the titan experiments. Then it hit him all at once. "...Oh."

"You feel better? You kind of scared us." Hange moved closer to study him.

"I feel numb." Levi admitted.

"If it's not too much trouble, can you explain a few things? Like what that man meant. You can take your time."

Levi lowered his head.

"I didn't mean for it to come to this. And my apologies for hurting all of you." He choked, and inhaled to gather his wits before continuing.

He started from the beginning.

WIRSINDDERJAGER

"So what took you so long?" Erwin inquired as Hange and Levi shuffled into his room.

"We know what you had Levi do. What I don't understand is _why_ you two thought it was a good idea to go along with what the higher ups wanted us to do. He's just a _kid_." Hange stared at them.

Levi took a seat, shoulders slumped.

"I'm a puppet, Hange. Even when I try to cut my strings, I have no choice but to return to the puppet master. This isn't the first time I tried to break them, but this is the first time I'm broken."

"...What happened?" Erwin sat up straighter.

"We'll tell you in a bit. But someone is here to tell you something about the titans. Come in, Connie." Hange ushered the young man inside.

"I don't know if this will hold any ground, but something has been bothering me. When titans appeared, I went to my town. I found no survivors. But my house was crushed by a deformed titan. And..." Connie gulped, before continuing.

"It said _welcome home._ I know that sounds crazy, but I _know_ it spoke. And thinking back on it now, it kind of looked like my _mom._ And that got me thinking, maybe somehow, some way, the towns that are unaccounted for were somehow the ones that became titans."

"It makes sense, as there were no abnormalities in Trost or anywhere else along Wall Rose, which wasn't breached. And I took the liberty of looking at the amount of titans there were. It's a close enough number to the villagers that disappeared in the retreat. Of course I can't leave out the amount of lives the titans took. And, some of our own have gone missing."

"What do you mean missing?" Erwin was handed the paperwork Hange had gone over.

"Mike's squad is on the miss. The last to see him alive was Sasha. She was told to leave, as he sensed titans were coming. And his squad isn't the only one unaccounted for. And someone reported seeing a group of dead horses, crushed or thrown on the outskirts of a few small towns. One of them was in the area Sasha last saw Mike."

Erwin sighed, his face tormented. Levi couldn't find it within himself to comfort him. In their grief, they realized a horror that a titan had killed horses. It was either an abnormal, or a titan shifter. They were all betting on the latter.

"So all along I've been killing humans..." Levi was disturbed.

"This is grave news. Hange, inform all of the families of the missing Scouts' deaths. And Connie, thank you for telling me what you encountered. I want to know if that titan is still there. Send a few squadron out as soon as possible, Hange. I want to investigate this theory."

"Yes, sir. Shall we give you two some space?" Hange knew they needed to talk.

"Please, thank you."

They silently took their leave. Erwin stared at Levi, who moved from the chair to set on the edge of the bed.

"I did what you advised. I broke up with him. After I told him everything, I ended the relationship. He wanted to argue, but I left before he could convince me otherwise."

"I truly am sorry. I'll tell him I take full responsibility."

"It doesn't matter, Erwin. You got what you wanted in the end."

"I wanted you to be happy. You didn't have to heed my advice. I only said it as an in case measure. When he gets kidnapped again, I don't want to see you lose control."

"Well, I did it. And once again I'm your fucking loyal dog. I started all the partnerships to see if it made you angry. But you didn't care so long as I came at your call."

"So you did all of this out of spite. Testing my boundaries. I made it seem like I didn't care because I recognized the game you were playing. And you tripped in your own game and fell hard for someone else." Erwin understood his bitterness.

"I don't know if this is love or infatuation." Levi bit his lip.

"What do you miss about him? When you think of him, what do you want from him?"

Levi thought about it. And the words came forth without a second thought.

"I want his kiss. I want his arms around me. I want to protect him. I want his laugh. His smile...Erwin, is this love?"

"It certainly sounds like it."

"Then...why does it _hurt_?" Levi choked back a sob. "All those love stories the nobles are obsessed with, they make love sound all perfect and happy."

He felt like he was being crushed by the weight of this pain, this supposed love. He still had a hard time accepting that this was love at all. But ever since Hange dared to voice it, it started gnawing at his brain. It wouldn't leave him at peace at night, when he had little sleep to begin with.

"When I was in training, I met this lovely girl. She had spirit. And her freedom to say what she wants, be minding what others thought, drew me to her. But I wasn't the only one. My best friend had a crush on her, too. When it came to graduation, I had to choose. Love, or titans."

 _So that's why he was interested in me. I was like that, once upon a time. It feels like a lifetime ago._

It was hard to believe it had only been five years.

"Did she give you that ultimatum?"

"No. I knew that if I were to rise up in the ranks of the Survey Corp, I can't have distractions. And, well, you know what happened. My best friend married her after he signed up for the Military Police. They live in the inner city, and have three children together. They send me letters now and then to update. I am the godfather, after all."

"...You gave her up to spare the pain of your funeral. Do you regret it? You could have been their father." Levi wasn't angry anymore.

 _He saved her from a worse fate._

"I try not to dwell on it. There are times I find myself fancying the idea of having a loving wife, and little brats running around. But, my curiosity for the outside world would consume me. And I would regret that more than giving up a family life."

"I can imagine you being a father." Levi admitted, laying down so he was beside Erwin.

 _I am not seeking his touch. I just miss our comfortableness to being so open to each_ _other._

"Oh? How so? I'm curious." The blonde chuckled, not minding the cuddling. In fact he welcomed it.

"You're already like a father figure to the Survey Corp, believe it or not. The brats look up to you like one."

"Never would have thought." Erwin chuckled with a faintest hint of a smile.

"If nothing comes up, can I stay here for tonight? Just as friends. I don't want to face my nightmares alone." Levi hated admitting or hinting that he was scared, but he knew he could trust Erwin.

 _I am so tired. So tired from everything._

"Yes, you can stay. And Levi?"

"Mm."

"When the time is right, I think you should tell Eren how you feel. Just to get it off of your chest. Even if you lose your chance with him, you won't be left wondering for the rest of your life what could have been."

"Like you, Erwin?" Levi flinched, knowing how insensitive that sounded.

Erwin didn't show he was hurt. Instead he wrapped an arm around the smaller form. Levi was given a grim reminder that he wouldn't ever feel a full embrace from Erwin ever again. He supposed it was a punishment for them, for what they had done.

 _I would say it's my fault, but he would tell me otherwise. Even like this, he wouldn't admit defeat._

"Yes. Exactly like me."


	6. You Should Be Scared Of Me

Immer: Yay mental issues. Okay, no yay, but I just wanted to see a part of Levi we don't see a lot of.

Title from the lycris of _Control_ by Halsey.

Chapter Six You Should Be Scared Of Me

WIRSINDDERJAGER

"Do you want me to beat his face in when he gets back?" Mikasa offered, and Eren glared.

"No, that won't help anything. If he was ready to fight a man over something stupid, he's going to snap. With you, I don't think he would hold back, Mika."

"But he used you!"

"I talked to him a while back, when I figured out you two were a thing." Jean spoke, earning everyone's attention.

"When did you figure that out?" Armin questioned, amazed.

"The night Eren smelled like flowers. The captain had the same scent. It was a long stretch, and I confronted him a week later. He didn't even deny it. Anyway, I might be breaking a promise, but you guys need to know something he told me."

"What did he tell you?" Eren stared, eager to hear.

"He told me that he broke a five year partnership with Erwin for Eren. Guess Erwin started getting possessive, and the captain cut him off. I asked him if he regrets it. Wanna know what he said?"

"Cut to the chase. Stop leaving us in the suspense." Historia was as impatient as Eren. She hated seeing couples having a fall out.

"He did admit that sometimes he did." At that Mikasa made a proud sound in her throat. "But, he said that whenever he was around Eren, then nothing else mattered to him. So, even though what he and Erwin did is fucked up and shit, but I can't be mad at him. Not when he looked like he would rather die than break it up with Eren before he left."

Jean recalled that moment. The captain had his head lowered, bangs overshadowed his face. When he straightened up again to leave through the door, the tormant in his heart was clear in his face. Jean had a good view from his seat, but as far as he knew no one else caught it.

"He had a pained look on his face?" Eren perked up with hope.

"From what I saw, he did. But I don't know if he would return the same." Jean shrugged. He wasn't sure if letting Eren get his hopes up would be a good idea.

"What do you mean? It means it can still be fixed!" Historia ignored Mikasa's snort.

"He sleeps around with other people willingly going from one person to another. The only person he remained loyal to was Erwin." Mikasa crossed her arms, eyes dark.

"But he cut things off with Erwin." Armin pointed out.

"How do you know he went from person to person? He told me he's picky when he chooses who he sleeps with. And it's not like I didn't know, Mika. He told me the truth about that part from day one." Eren sent his sister a look.

"He's probably slept with Mike."

"What makes you think that?" Sasha choked on her bread.

"That time Mike sniffed him in front of everyone at dinner. And then what he said to the captain after he told Erwin off, it was the only kind of talk if they had slept together." Mikasa named her reasons.

"Or he was looking after his close friend. The commander and him were pretty close." Eren waved her off.

"And we can't just name someone without solid proof. I get that you would suspect Mike, but we can't judge him. Plus, I doubt the captain will admit who he's slept with." Armin wasn't agreeing or disagreeing.

"Why do you think that?" Sasha tilted her head.

"Because I'm positive everyone else he's slept with, aside from Eren and Erwin, are all dead. He's not the type to tarnish the memories of our fallen." Armin's words hit them all hard.

They all sat in awkward silence. Sasha wasn't even chewing, her expression deep thought and sorrow.

"So can this relationship be fixed or not? I want to help Eren." Historia spoke up, ignoring Mikasa's dark glare.

"That all depends what happens between the captain and Erwin."

Just as Jean finished, the door opened. Hange entered, followed by Connie and Levi. He was the image of the usual stoic captain, but while he tried to stay guarded, the pain in his eyes when he saw Eren said it all. And something about Hange's walk spoke of authority, which was new for them.

"What's the news?"

"I have been named the new Commander In Chief, in replacement of Mike Zacharias. I am sorry to report that his squad has been missing, and with the amount of time passed since the titans showed up inside Wall Rose means he is most likely dead." Hange sighed, unsure if they could actually do this.

"Erwin is going to look into the matter of the Reiss family. In the meantime, we get to continue on with what we've been doing. However, Hange will be leading a few squadron to investigate Connie's hometown."

"Are we going along, too?" Armin asked.

"I think it's too risky at this point. I won't be leading the entire Survey Corp, and should we come across Reiner, Bertolt, or Ymir we can't take risks with small numbers, even with Eren. But I will be taking Connie with me to identify a titan."

"Also, whether he likes to admit or not, Captain Levi is still healing. I wouldn't want to be responsible if it was made worse. At this point in time we can't lose him." Hange added, ignoring the glare at their back.

"But we'll be going out tomorrow. In the meantime, as much as I want to learn more about Eren's titan form, I'm too exhausted. Eren, if it's all right, can we schedule the experiments until the day after I see Connie's village?"

"Yeah, sure. That's fine with me. But, what does that leave us to do today and tomorrow?"

"Extensive training. You shits have been slacking off. It's time we make up for lost time."

They didn't like the glint in his eyes.

WIRSINDDERJAGER

The next day, much to everyone's relief (everyone but Levi), their training was interrupted with a letter. It was Erwin's orders, and Levi gathered their horses and made their way to Trost District. The trap had been set, and for a moment it seemed like it would go without a hitch.

And then a trap was sprung on the back end of theirs.

By the end of it, Levi is beyond livid. They lost both Eren and Historia, and no lead as to where they could have gone. Upon returning the next day, they were met with a confused Erwin and Hange. Armin busted through the door.

"Eren and Historia were kidnapped! But first, we need you to calm down the captain! He and Mikasa are fighting all out in the training area!" The blonde heaved, and in an instant both commander and commander in chief bolted.

Levi didn't know who started the fight. But the tension in him and Mikasa were at a boiling point. He didn't have a bone to pick with her, but she was the strongest around at the moment to keep up with his strength and speed. He didn't give a damned about her hate for what he had done to Eren. All he was doing was unleashing steam.

They fought in the air, using complicated maneuvers and tricks on each other in the hopes of gaining the upper hand. And yet for the moment they were equal, and neither showed any signs of slowing down. The rest of the squad paced around them, keeping a safe distance but not interfering as much as they wished to. They all knew that doing so would possibly get them killed.

"Guys, stop! You don't have to fight!" Sasha yelled, but they ignored her.

"There's no sense talking sense to them!" Jean grit his teeth.

Their blades clashed multiple times. They were unrelenting in their strength. As minutes passed, she was beginning to show signs of tire. He, on the otherhand, continued to push himself past his own limits. This was the first time in so long he had control of the deepest reservoirs of his strength. In the past he unleashed it and spent it all quickly when he got to this point.

This time he had control over it, enough to stretch it out and continue his powerful barrages. Soon he had her backing away as she began to tap into her own reserved inner strength. Unlike him, she didn't know how to fully control it, as she never had a reason to tap into this level since she was young. The only difference between them at this point was their experience.

At one point he made a swing at her shoulder. The blade was about to cut the red scarf. In an instant she rolled, landing on the ground. She took it off and tossed it to someone, and Jean caught it. Getting the hint she would go after his caravet, he backed away far enough to fiddle with it. Instead of tossing it, he placed it in his pants pocket before charging. Mikasa charged with a war cry.

Then someone intercepted. Erwin leaped out of nowhere, and with quick ease he tripped Mikasa. Then he turned and raised a blade to block the captain's attack. He stared into wild gray eyes, giving him a flashback to five years prior.

"Stand down, Levi!" Erwin ordered sternly.

"I am done being your puppet!" Levi pushed, and Erwin was forced back a few steps before he used his height to his advantage and had them at a standstill.

"Please, captain, stop! You're scaring us!" Armin pleaded.

"Damn right you should be scared of me." Levi snarled, pulling away long enough to swing again.

"I said stand down, captain." Erwin blocked, and once again they were pushing with all they had on the blades. "This is your last warning. After this, I will be forced to perceive you as a traitor and act accordingly."

"Does it look like I give a shit?" Levi hissed.

"Please don't make me brand you a traitor. And what's your plan, go on the run? You're not some nobody in the Underground City anymore. You can't hide, and I don't want to see the day you have to face Eren, branded as a traitor. Now I repeat, _stand down_."

Levi wasn't moved by his words. But his leg gave out from under him. He collapsed to the ground, favoring the injured limb so he wasn't applying weight on it. Still sensing the fighting spirit within him, Erwin held the blade to Levi's throat, forcing him to look up at him. It was then the commander noticed the dark hand print on his throat, but didn't voice his concern.

"I don't care which of you started this. But I'm finishing it. And both of you will be heavily punished for your actions. This is not the time to be fighting amongst each other, when we are needed to stand united for Eren's and Historia's sake."

This time his words had the effect he wanted. Levi's fury wavered, it was shown in the eyes. When he signed heavily, diverting his gaze but not move his head. Erwin slowly sheathed the blade. He then knelt down, and with a tentative hand he lifted Levi's chin for a better look at the nasty bruise.

"Who did this?" Erwin was shaking, difficulty restraining his wrath.

Levi refused to respond. In his mind Erwin was acting too much of a lover and less of a friend. Getting the hint from the glare, Erwin pulled away.

"The person you sent for us a few days back. He antagonized Captain Levi to the point they fought. And then he choked the captain, but he wasn't showing signs of stopping so I tackled him to the floor and held him there until the MP left." Hange summarized, and Erwin stood up, muscles tensed.

"You fought him?" Erwin stared down at the captain.

"He was worse off than me, in the end. I think I broke his nose and gave him a black eye. And maybe knocked out a tooth." Levi wasn't sure the extent of the injuries he gave the officer, but he was guessing.

Erwin breathed in deep, closing his eyes. He opened them as he exhaled. He was still fuming, but he wasn't going to pull something stupid over it. At least not right now, that might change once he meets his friend face to face. While Erwin was predominantly right handed, he could still swing a hard punch with his left.

"I'll deal with that at another time. For now, we need to focus on a strategy to locate Eren and Historia."

"And how are we supposed to go about that? Forgive me for saying this, but we don't even know who took them." Jean stepped forward, handing the scarf back to Mikasa.

Sasha helped Levi to his feet. He stood weakly, favoring his leg. It was then he realized just how much of his strength he had used, as he felt exhausted to the point of needing a nap. One glance at Mikasa, and he felt satisfied she was just as tired as he was.

"I have a theory. I believe the Reiss family have made a move. The problem is, they've been in hiding for a while, and I don't understand why they would want Eren."

"Why is the Reiss family so important? Aside from being the richest families around, I never found them special. They hardly show their faces to the damned gatherings in the inner city you like to drag me to." Levi inquired, baffled as to why the family acted now of all times to take back Historia.

"I believe they're the true royal family. The royal family we know is a fake. I've known that for a while, but I couldn't figure out which family was the true royalty. What's more, I believe they have the power of the titans."

"You glory hound. You want to stage a coup." Levi caught on, and Erwin smirked.

"If an opportunity presented itself, then why not?"

WIRSINDDERJAGER

"I won't stand for any fighting among my men. Care to explain, you two?" Erwin stared grimly.

They were in his office. Levi had claimed the couch, lazily stretching his legs out across it. Mikasa sat in a chair across from the commander's. When they didn't answer, he focused his attention on Levi first.

"Levi, why did you do it?"

"I had no bone to pick with her. She just happened to swing at me in the middle of an argument, and I snapped. Since she was the strongest out of the others, I went all out. Not like she wasn't holding back, anyway." Levi was being honest.

"What was the argument about?"

"I don't remember. All I remember is being so angry I had to let off some steam. Since she attacked, I figured why not? If I took it out on her before she swung, then I'll take responsibility for starting it."

"He didn't start the argument. I did." Mikasa admitted.

"Care to tell me why?" Erwin asked.

"I blamed him for Eren's kidnapping. After everything he had done, I blamed him for something that wasn't his fault. And I realize now he was just as infuriated as I was. And...I misjudged him." She turned to meet the captain's gaze.

"I thought you didn't care about Eren. I thought you were using him and I let that cloud my judgment against you. I realize now how much you do care, and I'm sorry. I'll do my best not to do it again in the future."

 _This is why I haven't named her second in command. At this point I might as well nominate Jean. But she's making progress, at least._

"Next time you want to let off some steam, don't come at me with blades. I can understand needing a good punching, but not weapons swinging. In an instance like that, there's a large percentage of me losing control. Whatever happens after I can't take responsible for, as much as I would like to." He advised. He couldn't be the only one to think of having someone in almost equal strength as a sparring partner.

"I'll keep that in mind." Mikasa was thinking along the same line as him.

"So can I expect the two of you working together from now on? Tomorrow your whole squad have to head to the inner city. You will be alone, without having any back up." Erwin wanted to be sure they would cooperate.

"I think we got a lot of the pent up anger out of our system." Levi shrugged with indifference.

"I understand I was in the wrong. I won't let my emotions get in the way of the mission." Mikasa assured.

"All right. I'll hold you both to that. Get some rest. It's an early start tomorrow." Erwin sighed, dismissing them.

Mikasa left without another word. Levi stayed where he was. Erwin stared, mixed emotions in his eyes.

"Why did you attack me? Was it the heat of the moment, or did you really mean what you said?"

"Both. In that mindstate, I feel like I'm bigger than my body. And I can't help but be meaner than my demons, fighting for control so I don't slip and do something I will regret later. I'm just so tired, Erwin. Tired of everything."

"You can't lose sight of your goals, Levi."

"I'm not _you_. What if I lose my chance to tell him how I feel? What if we don't get to him in time?"

 _I should have pulled him aside and told him when I had the chance._

"Why are you filled with such doubts?"

"Because every horrible things that can happen to people, happen to me, Erwin. Even at a young age, everyone I get close to dies. It's why I haven't told you everything that goes on in my head. I've let you pull my strings for so long, I don't know what to do should you die before me."

"You will have Eren. Don't hand him the responsibility of being your puppet master, but let him hold your heart. I know for certain he will protect it far better than I ever could. And he has the heart to put aside his goals and focus on you when you need it, something I am horrible at." Erwin recalled the day he saw Eren gently carrying a sleeping captain out of the private baths.

"For someone who is the closest at being a relationship with me, you're taking this better than most." Levi stood up, moving to stand in front of the desk.

"I don't want to see you in the same position I am. I lost my chance with you. While it hurts, I know we wouldn't have worked out for reasons I just told you. I want to see you happy, without a care of this cruel world just once. And I know Eren can bring you to that point."

"You sound so sure, and yet you can't even bother to shave." Levi snorted, noticing the beard that had started to grow.

"I'm not used to being left handed just yet." Erwin chuckled, but there was no mirth in his voice.

"Where are your razors? I'll do it for you. I'm only doing this because you look like an old man."

"I am old, Levi. You are, too."

"Shut up. You're not talking me out of this. Just as you won't let me let go of myself, I won't let you do the same. We still need you, and doubts of your leadership can't start because you can't shave yourself."

"All right, all right. They should be in my bag."

Levi went to work. He took his time, being careful not to cut skin. As he finished up, he couldn't help but inquire something that had been bothering him.

"How are you holding up about Mike?"

"...I try not to think about it."

"Want to talk about it? Share a toast in his name?" Levi was already reaching for the whiskey. Erwin would have laughed, as very few knew where he stored his alcohol.

They sat in relative silence, occasionally sipping their glasses. It was strong, but left a bittersweet aftertaste.

"He trained with me. At first he wanted to be part of the Garrison, but after befriending me he changed his mind. I figured I would end up in a grave before him, but reality is cruel, isn't it?"

"Mm. Life is cruel."

"Why are you taking his death hard?"

"He was one of my occasional partners. We had a mutual understanding. He was afraid to touch me too often, especially if I reeked of you. I guess he liked the idea of you and I together, for he was bitter towards me for choosing Eren over you." Levi leaned back in the chair.

"I didn't get the chance to patch things up with him."

"I can tell Sasha is remorseful. She's the last person to see him alive. When you can, assure her things happen."

"Why me? I'm not good with those kind of talks."

"It would mean more to her if it came from you. I think your squad knows something was between you and Mike. Not like us or Eren, but I assume they have guessed."

"...I suppose I'll have a talk with her, then."

"To Mike?" Erwin held out his glass.

"To Mike." Levi clinked their glasses together. They both downed the last bit of the whiskey in a few gulps.

The next morning, Levi was extra irritable. He had a nasty headache from the alcohol, and he was sore all over. He usually could hold his own with alcohol, but Erwin must have kept the bottle for over a few years, as it became stronger with age.

"Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, captain?" Connie joked, and Levi's brow twitched.

 _I woke up on Erwin's couch. Fuck how expensive that bottle is, I'll replace it later._

He had dumped the rest of the bottle's contents in a fit of rage. He left the empty bottle on the desk, and then hurriedly got his squad on the move before Erwin woke up. Levi didn't remember what happened after a point in the previous night, and he couldn't tell if he had sex in a drunken stupor. His muscles were sore from going all out against Mikasa.

"Sasha. Perk up. I need you at your best. All of us have to do what we can. We don't know what we're going to face in the inner city." He noticed she was slumped, and not her usual outgoing self.

"I'm sorry." She sniffed, and Levi pulled his horse to a stop next to hers.

"Jean, take lead. We'll catch up." He instructed, surprising everyone.

"You got it, captain." Jean pulled to the front, and the others followed.

When they were out of earshot, Levi turned to Sasha.

"What's wrong?" He saw her wipe away tears.

"When you came back from the inner city, Mikasa said that Mike was one of your partners. She didn't have any doubt about it. And it got me thinking about how I was the last one to see him. I know it's silly, but I wish I had told him to come with me. You and the commander were close to him." She started sobbing.

"You didn't know what would have happened. It's not your fault he died, Sasha."

"You're not mad that I was the last one to see him?" She looked at him with those damned puppy eyes.

"Sasha, I find comfort he died protecting someone, especially you. You're part of my squad, and even though he was angry with me he didn't allow it to come in the way of your safety as one of my squad members. I like to think it was his way of an apology to me. I don't know if it really is, but I want to believe it to be."

"He said I had to leave, I didn't have gear to fight titans." She sniffed, wiping away her tears. But they kept coming down.

"He stayed behind to ensure the titans wouldn't come after you. He died protecting you. Don't hold it against yourself, he would have done that with anyone in that situation. Just keep walking and remember his sacrifice. Make him proud by fighting on, show him that his sacrifice wasn't in vain."

This must have been what she wanted to hear. The tears had stopped, and her sadness was replaced with hope and determination. Levi felt relieved, he needed everyone at their best. Titans were a terrifying enemy, but humans were worse in his opinion.

"Let's go save Eren so you two can make up!" Sasha exclaimed, urging her horse to catch up with the others.

 _She_ _supports me being with Eren...?_

"C'mon, captain! We have your boyfriend to rescue!" Sasha called back, this time the others heard and cheered with her.

 _They all do?_

Even Mikasa raised an arm. She didn't loudly exclaim like the others, but she was learning to put aside her differences for the better of the squad. And Levi felt warm and fuzzy inside at their support. And with a click of his tongue he urged his horse to catch up with them.


	7. Addictive

Immer: I know this one didn't immediately come out sooner than I wanted mostly cuz I had a hard time deciding whether to include the whole search for Eren and Historia, the fight against Kenny, and decided nope. Kenny is a hard character for me to grasp because not a lot is known about him. Yeah, we get some back story, but it still feels like a lot is still missing. Since I can't get a grasp of him I decided to skip to the point Eren can crystalize.

Chapter title based off of the song _Addictive_ by Royal Republic.

This is second to last chapter.

Chapter Seven Addictive

WIRSINDDERJAGER

They did it. By some luck they did it. Levi admired the crystal form, a wall with Eren's titan form molded with it. Dirt and rocks weren't crumbling on top of them anymore, and they all made it. The captain released a sigh of relief, suddenly drained.

"Hey guys, it's safe to climb our way out." Eren waved down from above. He had already climbed to the surface.

Mikasa used her gear, and a few others followed her lead. Armin and Connie helped Historia up, and Levi followed behind them last. As he watched them about to climb over the edge, suddenly Historia slipped. Armin reached for her but their hands slipped.

"Historia!" Armin cried out, causing everyone to panic.

Levi braced himself, heels digging in as he sent his grappling hooks to hold him steady. He leaned back and opened his arms to catch her. Pain seared through from his leg. He forced himself to lean forward instead of back like his body wanted. He could feel the wires strain from their weight, and he realized with a racing heart that the hooks would soon give way.

"I'm sorry!" Historia shrieked, but fortunately she didn't squirm in panic.

Levi tried to see if he still had any gas. But when he pressed the trigger to push them to safety his gear released a weak puff. Levi grit his teeth as he made eye conact with Connie as his own panic began to set.

"Don't just stand around, come get her!"

His words snapped them in action. Both Armin and Connie swung to their level and helped her up. Sasha raced down to help steady the three. They were all too focused to help Historia to notice the captain's hooks gave way and he fell until it was too late. Someone raced down past the group in a flash.

"Captain!" Eren cried out, about ready to transform. But he didn't need to.

Mikasa's grip was like steel, but Levi was relieved more than anything else. But now they faced another problem. He was nowhere close to a ledge to regain his footing, and she had used the last of her gas in the rescue. They were literally hanging off of a crystal titan's face, and Mikasa's strength was the only thing preventing them both to fall.

She was hanging off the face with one arm and her legs, while her other arm caught the captain. He gripped her hand with both of his own as if she were his lifeline. Once he was sure she wouldn't let go his eyes searched for a way out of this situation since all she could do was concentrate on not falling to their deaths.

"Captain! Mikasa!" Eren wanted to help, but from where he was and without gear he was helpless.

 _I can't lose them!_

"What should we do?" Sasha was torn between which of her friends to help.

"You guys focus on Historia first!" Levi urged them, and reluctantly they did as told.

Mikasa wasn't angry at his decision. She had the strength to hold on a little while longer. But the question was whether she could keep them like this until help arrived. Everyone else was critically low on gas or out. This left them with little options to get to safety.

Levi stared into her eyes, mind racing. Then an idea popped into his head. It would require a lot if trust and strength on their part. And as he stared at Mikasa, he realized she had come to the same conclusion. If the determined look on her face was any indication that is.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" She inquired with a smirk.

 _She took the words right out of my mouth._

"Whatever you do, don't let go." He warned, and she scoffed.

"I wouldn't hear the end of it." Mikasa said before she started swinging him.

Once she got the momentum to use to her advantage, Mikasa swung the captain in a semicircle so he was above her. Levi grabbed hold of a ledge and then proceeded with doing the same with her. The rest of the squad watched on in awe as they worked like a team when days before they had come to blows.

 _To think we could come this far from trying to kill each other to helping each other not to die. Funny how that works._

Soon they had a rythym going, swinging each other higher up on the first try. As they neared the top the squad began to cheer. They could see how exhausted the captain appeared, and Mikasa was also showing signs of tire.

"You guys got this! Just a few more feet!"

"Just a little farther! Mikasa, I'll grab your hand!"

"Almost there! You two can do this!"

Mikasa caught Armin's hand. After she steadied herself with secure footing, she swung Levi over the edge. The captain rolled a few feet before stopping, laying on his back as he tried to catch his breath. With the extra weight gone Mikasa pulled herself to safety much to everyone's cheerful delight.

While most were concerned for Mikasa, the captain opened his eyes to meet bright eyes over him. Levi found himself drowning in them, recognizing relief flooding into those vibrant greens. Levi felt a swell of emotions just by seeing Eren safe. He allowed a bit of hope take form in his chest from seeing Eren so concerned over him.

"If you two are gonna kiss, then kiss already!" Jean snickered, earning a glare from the captain while Eren blushed bright red.

"Um...but we're not..." The titan shifter fidgeted.

"Eren, I'm sorry. For ending what we had without talking it out with you." Levi stated as he sat up, wincing from his sore leg.

Eren stared at him, at first unsure if he heard him right. Then as the words sunk in, his eyes widened not of fear, but joy. The next moment Levi was pulled into a hug, the action was sudden and he didn't have time to protest. Plus he found himself melting in the embrace. His nose was flooded of Eren's musk once more. The captain missed this scent.

 _He's safe. He's finally safe._

Levi reluctantly returned the embrace. He hadn't hugged anyone since Isabel. This was a huge step forward for the captain, and Eren understood this as his embrace tightened around him. It was a moment they wanted to cherish forever. However, reality had to knock on the door.

"Eren! I see you got a new ability! How did you do it? I can see it stopped the roof from collapsing on top of you guys." Hange's excited voice ruined the mood.

 _Well, it was good while it lasted._

But at least they were successful in rescuing Eren.

WIRSINDDERJAGER

Shortly after was the Survey Corp's effort into clearing their name of the murders and moving Historia's succession to the throne was a success. Levi told no one of his encounter with Kenny, nor did he reveal his new-found last name. While he and Mikasa reached an understanding, learning of possible family ties wouldn't change anything.

 _Thinking back on how similar we are on our strengths, I should have questioned about it earlier. But even then, it wouldn't have made a difference._

Levi didn't even inform Erwin of his new discovery of his family lineage. He trusted him with his life, but for some reason he withheld the information, focusing more on the serum Kenny gave him before he passed on. Erwin sensed something was bothering him, but didn't inquire about it. And the captiain was grateful, he himself had to process the idea he still had a family after so many years thinking he had no one else after his mother.

In the mix of all of this, Levi told Eren how he felt.

"I'm not good with words with this sort of mushy feelings, and such." Levi stated one night. He had taken to visiting his horse in the stables, and this night Eren went to look for him. He found him sitting outside the stall of his mare.

Eren had asked him what his feelings were towards him.

"Okay?" Eren blinked, taking to sit next to the captain.

Levi was entranced by those eyes. A part of it was due to the color, the vibrant life and emotion Eren freely showed through his face. Another was the haunting of Isabel, a tug at his heart he thought he wouldn't feel again after so many years of being numb. But the shiver is suppressed when he recognizes the soft brown of Eren instead of fiery red.

"So what do you mean to say?" Eren pressured, tone nervous.

 _I'm addicted to you._

"... You're the most important person to me." Levi admitted, looking away, fearing rejection after ending the relationship previously.

That was when Eren surprised him by pulling him into a kiss. Levi froze in surprise, and when Eren pulled away he couldn't believe his eyes when he registered relief mixed in with something else. It was similar to the expressions lovers held only for each other. Whenever he saw couples share that look, he felt disgusted. Yet with Eren Levi was filled with hope and love.

After the first initial kiss, several more followed. Each time became more passion driven. Eventually hands started exploring, feeling familiar territory in a possessive manner. During this Levi put up more of a challenge than usual as Eren tried to dominate him. The captain felt a fire from within, insisting he needed control. He bit the titan shifters lip, gripped his ass tightly before pinning him against the stall door.

Eren gasped, flustered from the change. Levi pulled away for a moment, a silent question if this was okay. Eren smiled, indicating he was fine with this. It was enough to encourage Levi to continue.

 _Not here. It's too open._

"My room, now." Levi growled enough warning before he pulled Eren with him to their feet.

The journey to his room was rushed, and he wasn't sure if they had been quiet about it since Levi was pulling Eren along in a fast pace. The young man stumbled a few times but overall didn't lose balance. Seconds after the door closed behind them clothes were discarded. Eren didn't have time to process how they undressed so quickly before he was pinned down on the bed, breath hitched at the sight of his lover being so dominate above him.

Levi hesitated again, nerves getting to him. Eren's scent driving him insane wasn't helping him any. He had never been on top before, and he knew Eren never had been taken. In that aspect he was a virgin in his mind. As if sensing his concerns Eren guided Levi's hand to his entrance. Pale gray locked with blue green.

"Are you sure?" He needed to hear it, a verbal confirmation.

"Yes. I can't think of anyone else to take me." Eren assured between gasps as a finger teased him.

Not good with sentimental moments Levi inserted one digit without warning. Eren gasped, and Levi hissed with how tight the pressure was on just one finger. To help ease the strange sensation he kissed and nibbled a tanned neck before settling on sucking the skin over the collar bone while his free hand tweaked a nipple. Distracted from the strange intrusion feeling for the first time, Eren loosened enough for Levi to continue preparation.

Once the second finger was inserted Levi was able to stretch him, all the while he searched for one spot in particular. He knew he found it when Eren moaned and snapped his hips up in surprise. With a devilish glint in his eyes Levi pressed that spot with vigor, enjoying the sight of Eren losing himself to pleasure.

 _Why didn't I do this before? He's perfect._ _So perfect. And all mine._

Levi didn't understand why he was so possesive over Eren, but he wasn't questioning it. For once he allowed his brain take a back seat and his body had control. And judging by Eren's reactions, he wasn't bothered by this change.

"Levi! Levi, please..." Eren begged through gasps, eyes glazed over and glossy. His hips were moving of their own accord and acting like they were riding the now three fingers inside.

Levi soaked in sight below him for a second longer to burn the memory within. Just as Eren started begging again Levi pulled his fingers out and adjusted himself to enter. With a snap of his hips he was inside. Eren wrapped his legs around pale waist, back arching as he forgot to breathe. Levi gripped tanned hips tight enough to bruise as he steadied his own breathing.

Upon noticing Eren's scrunched up face in pain, he leaned forward to kiss his neck. The heavy musk of Eren almost undid his composure and had him snapping his hips then and there. But he refused to cause pain to Eren, not after so much pain he was already responsible for.

"Breathe. Eren, breathe. Relax, you're doing great." Levi whispered, a hand returning to a perked nipple. "If need be you can hold and squeeze me."

Immediately Eren wrapped his arms around the petite form and did more than squeeze. Nails dug in and red lines began to form on pale shoulders. But Levi didn't care as he hissed from the sting of pain that only served to increase the pleasure. Finally his patience was rewarded when Eren experimentally moved his hips and moaned. Levi took it as his cue to move. He was still so tight that Levi wasn't starting at a fast pace.

"I can take it. Please, Levi." Eren whined, and Levi stared into his eyes.

The familiar inner flame burned inside Eren, the same wild animal instinct that drew Levi to him in the first place not as a lover, but a curiosity. At this moment in time Levi was now sure he would have opened up a relationship with Eren without Erwin's insistence due to orders from higher ups.

 _Either way he would still become mine._

With no sign of hesitation in those bright eyes Levi released the last of his remaining restraint. His hips started snapping in a fast pace that was brutal and unrelenting. Eren only moaned his name, which spurred him on. As he felt the familiar tightening in his abdomen that foreshadowed his climax, Levi lost sense of himself.

 _Mine mine mine mine mine._

"Mine!" Levi snarled, eyes wild.

"Yours! Always! Levi!" Eren shrieked in response.

At the sound of his name Levi was undone. His mouth opened in a silent scream as he came, filling Eren up. Shakily he pulled out, only to his confusion a hand gripped his hair. He glared down at Eren, only to realize he was still hard and throbbing.

"In the same aspect, you're also _mine_." Eren maneuvered Levi to his erection, smiling as the captain shivered. Levi's head swam from how intoxicating Eren's scent was, mixed in with precum only intensified it.

Without hesitation Levi accepted the hard length in his mouth. Soon as he did Eren moved his hips and his grip in black hair tightened. Levi didn't fight the action as he was being face fucked. He relaxed his jaw as best he could as he relinquished control over to Eren.

 _Guess I'll always be mostly a bottom._

Without warning Eren pulled out and released. Levi made a face at feeling wet and sticky load on his neck and chest. No one had done that to him before, and upon impulse he wanted to wipe it off. Eren pulled his hand away much to his distaste.

"Leave it to dry. Please? I know it's weird, but do it for me?" He had puppy eyes, and Levi reluctantly agreed.

"Fine. Just tell me why you did that? I have no problem swallowing." Levi allowed himself to be pulled into an embrace as they cuddled on the bed. Eren even pulled the sheet over their bodies. The nights have become colder recently.

"To mark you as mine." Eren yawned. Soon he was in a deep sleep.

Levi watched him sleep, still confused as to what he meant. But he concluded it was Eren's own weird way to claim him. Then his thoughts wandered as he came to terms of being stuck with Eren for a long time, or however long they had to live.

 _I don't plan to die anytime soon. And he's a titan. He's not helpless._

Not to mention an incredible amount of luck. Combine that with Levi's strength, together nothing would stand in their way. And they weren't alone. Along with the support of Armin and Mikasa, they had the entire Survey Corp to back them up. And now one of their own sits on the throne, Eren was safe from the threat of execution.

 _We'll be fine._

For the first time Levi fell asleep without worries. That night as he slept with Eren by his side for the first time, he had no nightmares. In fact, he even slept in, a first in many years. When he woke up, Hange and Erwin were at his door.

"Captain! We need your help! We can't find... Eren?" Hange opened the door, only to pause.

Levi sat up, groggy but alert. He glared at the brunette, who immediately scurried to hide behind Erwin. Beside him he felt Eren squirm before he sat up, rubbing his eyes. When he noticed they weren't alone, Eren blushed brightly like a tomato. Levi wrapped an arm around his lover possessively.

"He's safe. Now can you give us some space so we can change? We'll be out soon." Levi glared at them.

"Sure! Just don't take too long, okay?" Hange had a teasing tone to their voice and winked.

Eren eeped and hid his face in a pale shoulder. Erwin closed the door almost too gently. Levi couldn't read his expression. And this time he didn't feel the pull at his heart from the sight. Once they were gone, Levi kissed Eren's forehead.

"Come on, we slept in." Levi gathered up their clothes. He handed over Eren's as he sorted them.

"I think that was the best nights sleep I've ever had since... Well, in a long time, really." Eren admitted as he put his shirt on.

"I don't think I've had a full nights sleep in my entire life." Levi felt eyes on him. He focused more on his pants and the endless straps and belts.

At one point he had to stand, and as he finished familiar arms wrapped around his middle. Levi glanced over his shoulder in surprise. The emrace felt nice, he wanted to lean into his touch and spare a few more minutes of cuddling with Eren.

 _I feel... Secure? Sounds about right._

"I'm glad you had a full nights sleep. I hope I can help you for the rest of our days. I know it's too early for you to say it, but I want you to hear me say it. I love you, Levi."

The words hit him hard. Levi didn't know how to respond verbally. Instead he used action to speak for him, turning around to pull Eren in for a kiss. It was gentle and full of emotion from both ends. When they pulled away Eren was bright with a smile on his face.

 _One day I can say it back._

Levi was sure of it.

When they were presentable and left the room, by now the entire Survey Corp knew about their relationship (all thanks to Hange). Eren brushed off the comments, feeling quite secure with the relationship now. He only blushed when Jean or Connie made crude gestures or jokes as they guessed who was top or bottom.

"So, which of you tops?" Jean inquired during lunch. The captain was being held up in a meeting with Erwin, Hange and the Queen.

"Why would you want to know, pervert?" Eren raised an eyebrow.

"I heard what he did to you in your trial. He beat the crap out of you. Is he on top, or is his attitude all an act and he's secretly a bottom?"

"Figure it out yourself." Eren smirked suggestively.

For the rest of the day nearly everyone asked who was top or bottom, but Eren left them guessing. Levi noticed odd stares his way, but soon as he looked everyone continued on their chores. He even felt the stare from Erwin on more than one occasion.

"How's your arm?" Levi inquired when the meeting ended, noticing Erwin was rubbing the shoulder.

"It's been sore as of late. I don't know if it's any relation to the coming winter or not. Or the fact I still think my arm is still there." Erwin sighed, and for the first time Levi saw the dark circles under his eyes.

 _He's letting himself go._

"Do you plan to retire?" Levi hoped this was the case.

"The next expedition will be my last. Whether I survive it or not will depend on the success of retaking Shiganshina."

 _You plan to die, you bastard._

Levi glared, feeling the anger rise within. But it soothed away to bitterness as he had a really good look at Erwin. He was defeated mentally. He was the type of man who would rather go out in glory than live a comfortable life for the rest of his days, alone. The reality that Erwin was mortal like everyone else was a slap in the face, especially after he came back with one less arm a while ago.

Even so, it wasn't just the arm or age that had Erwin so defeated.

 _I am partially responsible for this._

"Erwin, are you cutting off my strings?"

"I cut them off the last night we had together. When we were drunk. I tried to make a move on you, and you left my side and slept on the couch in my office. I apologize for my behavior that night, by the way." Erwin admitted, and Levi stared in shock.

"I don't even remember most of that night." Levi finally revealed, hoping to ease the tension. "Why are you telling me this now?"

 _This happened months ago._

"Someone must have suspected something happened between us. Otherwise Eren wouldn't be so bold. He purposefully marked you with his release, didn't he?"

"How do you know?" Levi stared, horrified.

"While I don't have a nose like Mike, I can smell him all over you. And I know the smell of release. It's strongest around your neck. It was his way to mark you without physically leaving a mark. And probably a warning to me." Erwin chuckled, finding the act quite cute. "Not that he needed to do that, I have honor. But he probably doesn't trust us fully just yet."

"But there's nothing to worry about..." Levi frowned, feeling the fury rise within his chest.

"Don't be too angry at him. He's young, remember. He feels threatened by our past history together. If I were in his shoes, I would have done more than what he's doing." Erwin reminded him.

"Like what?" Levi narrowed his eyes.

"Request you never be alone with me." And with that Erwin left the room, leaving Levi alone with his thoughts.

 _He did that to distract me from my suspicion he wants to die in the next expedition._

Levi was in a numb state for the rest of the day. And that night, as Eren crawled into his bed, the captain made an unusual request. One he hadn't made in a while. Not since the first night they ever explored each other's bodies.

"Pain. Make me feel pain. Please, Eren." Levi clung onto the other, feeling Eren's body heat warm his cold body.

"What's wrong?" Eren frowned, concern taking precedence over his hormones.

"I just want to forget something. Just be rough and don't hold back if you don't want to cause me pain." Levi needed a distraction from his dark thoughts that had plagued him most of the afternoon.

Reluctantly, Eren did as he requested. That night, and every other night afterwards he was rough with his lover. He always assured his captain whatever was terrifying him, he would be happy to listen. Levi never took his offer, remaining silent. Eren was patient, he understood how hard it was for the captain to open up.

So Eren took to repeating a phrase that calmed Levi.

"I love you. I don't want to lose you again. Never again. You're mine, as I am yours." Eren repeated this phrase every night.

"I can't lose you." Levi finally admitted the night before the expedition to retake Wall Maria.

 _I love you, Eren. I just can't put it into words yet._


End file.
